All I've Ever Wanted
by HopelessRomantic225
Summary: my own "The Incident." Suliet.
1. Chapter 1

All I've Ever Wanted

A/N: So as I was rewatching LOST, I realized (again) how much I adore Suliet and I wish SO much that "The Incident" would have ended differently. I think the writers wrote Juliet's character poorly throughout the last few episodes and I thought this little fic up after watching the finale of season 5. So, pleeease tell me what you think, and enjoy! It is from Juliet's POV and includes some extended scenes I really wanted to fill out.

Disclaimer: I do use direct lines to help guide the story and let y'all know where they're at, but I do not own LOST or any scripted material.

My mind was spinning out of control as I listened to Kate and James fight on the sub. The conflicts in my heart were almost too much to bear and it took every ounce of strength I had not to start crying. All I wanted was my life back- my life with Rachel and with my career and this time around with James. But after everything that had happened so far, I knew that would be impossible to achieve. Instead, I decided to compromise. A life with James, and maybe with a house and with babies and with happiness again… that's all I wanted. That right there is what led me to this stupid sub.

But then again, maybe what Kate said… maybe she's right. Who the hell knows? But the way his body shifts when he sees her… it makes my blood run cold. It makes the tiny scars on my heart re-open with a gut-bursting pain. It makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

"All right, here's your sedatives…" the sub worker says.

Fight or flight. I made a decision. I made a decision with James and my love for him in mind. I hardened myself like I used to have to do while living with the Others, and then, I attacked.

"What the hell did you just do?" James exclaimed.

"WE decided to leave this Island, James. WE did. And now we're going back." I put on my "Other" face, and prayed that James wouldn't see right through it.

The tension was almost painful during the row back to the beach. I felt a part of my heart break as I saw the last bit of my potential happiness sink under the ocean surface. I mentally said my farewells, and pushed the tears back. Kate and James were arguing over where to land the boat, and all I could think about was how I could have just made the biggest mistake of my entire life. My lower lip trembled, but I bit it hard to try and control myself. Before James, I was one tough cookie. I had to be that way. But since that stupid drunken night on the dock with him… I realized that was the moment that I had gone soft. He made me a stupid, lame, emphatically-in-love softie. But not today… today I was gonna be that tough son of a bitch who was born on this goddamn island. Today, I was going to do what had to be done.

Within minutes we pulled up on the beach. Right back to square one.

"Thank you," Kate said suddenly. I was confused.

"For what?"

"For backing me up at the sub." Oh. Heh… if only she knew…

"No problem."

My thoughts tried to stray but I kept them to the task at hand. I couldn't let my guard down. Not yet, at least. Suddenly Vincent ran up to James, and my heart fluttered. Bernard and Rose have apparently been living out here this entire time and I hadn't even known. None of us did. But, the worst part of the whole thing… it was that they were living the life I wanted more than anything. They were happy, in love, and all they needed was each other.

That's when I saw it. And that is when my heart broke into the million pieces that I had spent over three years trying to glue back together. I had really thought that Goodwin was going to make me happy. But I had no idea what happiness was until I met James. And when he looked at her, as I looked at him… I knew it. I knew he cared for her still. I was just a pawn in his stupid little "Let's play Dharma house" game. I felt used. I felt cheated. I felt like I had been lied to for the two stupid years that I had been in love with him.

But I couldn't show any of that… not then. He couldn't know that I had turned into a giant softie. He couldn't. This is what I deserved, I guess. I mean after all, we were always just waiting for them to come back. I should have known that the fun had to end sometime.

"Are you sure you don't want some tea?" Bernard asks. I wish I could have some. But it wouldn't matter in a few hours anyway. I hesitated before answering, making sure I could maintain my composure.

"Maybe another time." I held my hand over my secret, wishing this would all just go away and we could go back to the way things were. And I forced my legs to go onward.

So, after trekking through the jungle in silence, we finally hear what's gotta be a Dharma van to the west of us. We glanced around at each other and ran for it. We made it to the path, and we were just in time for Hugo to slam on his brakes.

Jack angrily gets out of the van, and James demands five minutes to talk to him. I know good and well that that's not going to go very well, but I stay quiet, just like I have been the entire trip. Jack looks at me for reassurance, but I've gone cold as ice by this point, so I stand as still as a statue. He takes this as an "okay" on my part, so the men go off into the jungle. As soon as James is gone, I released the breath I had been holding, and walk off into my own part of the jungle, away from the others. I finally let myself feel.

My shoulders shook with sadness as I finally let some tears roll down my cheeks. Not too much, of course, or then they'll know I was crying. Frustrated, I ran my hands roughly through my hair and paced. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest, I thought it must be crying out from grief. I couldn't believe what I was going to do. And I hated myself for it. But it needed to be done. Finally, after a minute or two, I stood still, took three deep breaths, wiped away my tears, and headed back towards the others.

I was almost there when I heard the fighting. I rolled my eyes, but headed in their direction to stop it.

"James!" I cried. He stopped. "Let him go."

"He wouldn't listen! I had to! He won't stop!" he yelled in frustration.

"That's because he's right," I said, as I shuddered. This is where everything would start tumbling down. I had agreed with him all along, but I knew we wouldn't get off the sub if I had said that earlier. So, I did what I do best. I lied. "He's right, James. We have to do this."

"What are you talking about? You're the one who told me to come back here and stop him!"

He was right. And he hadn't seen the lie. Any other day he would have. But with her here? She clouded him. "I changed my mind." And he believed me. Utter confusion conformed his face. He was looking at me like he didn't even know me anymore. I didn't even really know me anymore. Things were perfect before they had shown up. But once they did, I was just his partner-in-crime, his back-up. And the way he looked at her made me sick.

I turned on my heel and stalked off back where I had come from. He asked me to stop, but I didn't. I couldn't. I didn't want to have this conversation yet. I knew it was coming. Ever since they got here I knew it would come, but I just wasn't ready for it yet. We argued, and he grabbed my arms trying to stop me. Instinct kicked in and I harshly pulled away. He backed up in surprise.

"I need you to tell me where all this is coming from! One minute you're leading the great sub-escape, and now you're on board with blowing up the damn island? I got a right to know why you changed your mind." _God, Juliet, don't lose focus_.

"I changed my mind when I saw you look at her." Well shit. So much for avoiding this conversation… even though I definitely wasn't ready, it was here and now and there's no turning back now. The part that intrigued me the most was his reaction. He actually grimaced, as if he knew exactly what I was referring to. Which meant I wasn't losing my mind. I couldn't tell if that was a comforting thought or not.

"I don't care who I looked at. I'm with you." My heart breaks. I just love him so damn much and this stupid secret is about to spill out and the tears are coming and I just feel like I want to hug him and kiss him and be happy but… I can't. I must maintain composure.

"And you would stay with me forever, if I let you… and that's why I will always love you… and what we had, it was just for a little while, and just because we love each other, doesn't mean that we're meant to be together." My parents' image flashes before me and it finally clicks. I feel the pain my mother must have felt while she broke the news about the divorce to me and Rachel. I felt like a failure. I felt like someone who would never get to know what it felt like to be so eternally loved in return. I would never feel the way Kate did. "I mean maybe we were never supposed to be together, so if Jack can make it so that none of you ever come here, then he should." Liar liar liar liar liar liar liar. He asked me why, and so many different responses filled my head. "I… If I never meet you, then I never have to lose you." And the flood gates opened once more.

I pushed past him, dying to get his face out of my mind. The hurt, the guilt I saw there… it was unbearable to witness. He stood there for a second, but was soon in step behind me.

"Juliet! Juliet, wait!" he called. "Can we please talk about this?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, I do believe there is. First of all, I don't have no feelin's for Kate! I did, and I admit I did, but whatever ya think ya saw… well, you're wrong!" I turned around so fast he almost crashed into me.

"James, I know what I saw. You still love her, and that's fine. I should've have believed this was real."

"But Jules, it IS real."

"Yeah, we're on an island. Yeah, we've lived together for over two years. And yeah, we could die within the hour. But James… I'm not what you want. You want her."

"Really? Cuz if I wanted her, wouldn't SHE be the one I'd be chasin' through the damn jungle?" I said nothing. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Now besides you getting' jealous, what else is bothering you?"

"Honestly James? Do you really want to know?" I crossed my arms in indignation.

"Yes, Juliet, I want to know," he said slowly.

I paused, and thought hard about what I was about to say. I couldn't screw this up. I hadn't planned on saying anything about this at all, but I wanted to stun him, and maybe this would make him realize that we needed things to change. Things needed to be back the way they were supposed to be: with the plane never crashing.

"Damn it, James. I'm pregnant." His jaw slacked, and he said nothing. "Yeah, you heard me. And at first I was so excited. But the next day, guess who shows up? And I was stupid to think that we'd be happy. We weren't meant to have a family together. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how screwed up things had gotten. They shouldn't have come… but they did, and there isn't anything anyone can do about it."

"I…" he tried to speak, but I cut him off.

"Please don't. Please don't try and make me feel better about this. You wanna know why I decided to get us off the sub? I did it for you. I did it so you could be with her. I did it so we could blow up this shit hole and so I would never have to feel the pain of losing you."

He was almost nose to nose with me by this point, and I trembled, whether with anger or fear, I wasn't sure. "Juliet. If I wanted to be with her, I would have been. If we had gone back to Ann Arbor, I would have done nothing but provide for you, in every possible way. You didn't do this for me. You did it cuz you're scared. You're scared of happiness. Cuz I swear to God, I woulda done every god damn thing in my power to make you and that baby happy. Don't you tell me that this is all for my own good. You're scared of happiness. Cuz I swear to God, I woulda done every god damn thing in my power to make you and that baby happy. Don't you tell me that this is all for my own good. You've wanted off the island for years, and hell, I really don't blame ya, but don't you tell me what I would and wouldn't have wanted."

Tears trickled down my cheeks as he stared me down. I didn't know what to say. So, I didn't say anything at all. I turned around, wiped my cheeks, and continued back to the van. I wanted the baby more than anything, but I didn't want things like this. I loved James so much that it hurt, and if I could do anything to make it all go away, well I was going to.

We passed Jack eventually, and thankfully the tears were gone by this point. Once we reached the van, I easily sat myself down in the open doorway. James stood next to me, saying nothing. His silence is even worse than his words sometimes, but right then it was just what I needed.

After a few minutes, Phil drove past on his way to the Swan site. Kate pointed out that they would kill Jack as soon as they saw him. James looked down at me for the first time since the argument and asked what I thought. At first I didn't know what to say, but the familiar phrase instantly entered my mind, and we all knew we needed to help him out. Turns out, we got there just in time.

The firefight pumped my adrenaline as I shot as best as I could from the van. Jack needed to do this. I needed him to do this. James finally grabbed Phil and had him at gunpoint, and shouted for everyone to drop the weapons. Jack was about to throw in the bomb, and my heart began to race. I was terrified, but I tried to smile as best as I could to reassure James that this was all for the best.

Then, he dropped it. My life with James flashed before my eyes, and I felt so overwhelmed with love and desperation that I started to cry again. I waited, and squeezed my eyes shut. My body trembled, both with anticipation and fear.

Nothing happened… except the magnet began to suck down everything nearby. I knew this whole operation couldn't be easy, but I hadn't expected for the bomb to not detonate, and for a giant magnet to wrap heavy metal chains around my waist and legs. I screamed. The chains were pulling me down hard and fast. Kate grabbed the chains and for once, I was happy that she was around.

I held on for as long as I could, and when James finally grabbed my hand, I had almost lost all hope. The pain was unbearable. The chains were close to dislocating my hips and were slowly breaking my bones. I felt darkness all around me, and I clung to James's voice like I clung to his fingers.

"Where do you think you're goin'?" he yelled for Kate as I worked the chains around my legs with my free hand. First my right leg was loose, then my left, but the chains at my hip were getting tighter and tighter and I could feel my body throbbing against them.

Kate tried desperately to reach me, but she couldn't. "Hold on!" he growled. I cried up that I couldn't get the chains loose, and he just held tighter. I reached up with my free hand to get a better grip, and he pulled me up just a little higher.

"Kate! Get something sharp to cut the chains with!" he screamed as he held my bloody hands in his. I felt like I was about to pass out but I held onto his beautiful voice.

"But I could cut her! And the magnet might just suck it down!"

"I don't care! Just hold on tight! I'd rather her be alive than cut!" he almost choked on those last words, and I knew he cared about me. Whether it was more or less than Kate, he did care.

The beam above us fell a little lower, and I thought I was going to slip from James's grip, but he just held tighter, and started holding me by my forearms for better grip.

Then I saw Kate. She had a handsaw. Hurley helped lower her down enough to reach the chains around my waist. She cried as she sawed and soon I was only being wrapped around by one loop of chains, not three. This is where things got complicated. The pressure had eased a little but the magnetic pull made the saw cut in all kinds of directions. I was in so much pain already that I didn't feel the 6 times she sliced my skin. But right before complete darkness took over me, the last bit of the chains fell free, as did the saw. James's arms were quivering with pain but he never let go. He hoisted me up with Kate's help, and then everything went white.

I woke up feeling very cold and nauseated. It was so bright I had to squint to try and collect my bearings. I could feel James's arms still wrapped around me, but he was limp. My ears were ringing so loud that I checked at least three times to see if I was bleeding from them. After a few minutes I was able to remember what had happened. I looked down at my ripped jeans and shirt and could see they were soaked with blood. I felt sick.

James then began to stir, and I immediately checked him over for injuries. Other than what Jack had done to his face, he was alright. I looked around and saw no one else. We were half lying in a creek, half on a rock bed. I was extremely confused. Were we dead? Did it work? I could feel it in my soul that it had worked but I wasn't sure how. Did the chains and the saw hit the bomb? And how was I so sure it had worked? I mean, if it did, why the fuck were we still on this damn island?

"Ju…" James muttered. He cleared his throat. "Juliet…"

I turned towards him and helped pull him out of the water. "I'm here, baby, I'm here." I whispered. My ears hurt so badly, I wondered if he could even hear me.

"Did it work?" he asked.

"I think it did, baby. But I'm not sure…"

He glanced me over, and felt my face with such tenderness I thought I was going to cry again. "You're alive, right? This isn't a dream?"

"No, James, it's not a dream. I'm here. I'm here thanks to you and Kate. You saved me, sweetheart. You saved me in so many ways." He grinned, took my hand, and passed out.

A/N: sooo whatcha think? Pleeeease review! I really want to continue this with at least one more chapter to further explore how things work out with the Island and whatnot, so let me know! Also, I know some things of Juliet's may not be _completely_ in character in this, but I really wanted to make her pregnant as soon as I saw the strange scene with her and Bernard. The writers make EVERYTHING up to interpretation and as annoying as that is, im kinda glad they did it so that writers like us can play around with it. And thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Now What?

A/N: this story is going in a COMPLETELY different direction than I thought, but I really wanted to continue and thanks to eyeon for inspiration, this is what I came up with! Enjoy!

ISLAND

When I woke up, everything was blurry again. I was, however, very glad my ears had stopped ringing. I heard rushing water and immediately looked around for James.

He was standing a few feet away, leaning against a tree, rubbing his neck. I tried standing but every muscle in my body screamed in protest.

"James… are we alright?" I croaked. He glanced at me like he hadn't known I was awake.

"Yeah, we'll be alright. You stopped bleedin', or at least, stopped bleedin' a lot."

"I remember passing out… I checked on you and then I just got really light-headed… I guess it was from blood loss."

"Yeah. I tied part of my shirt on your leg and that seemed to help. I just… I got this damn headache… I tried looking for the others but I couldn't get far without gettin' all dizzy and shit…" He sounded really frustrated. Though I felt like I was being stabbed by tiny little needles all over my body, I hoisted myself up on a nearby rock.

"James you could have a concussion. I should check you over… can you come here?" I rubbed the back of my neck and did a few shoulder rolls. I couldn't believe we had survived a freakin' bomb. This damn island, I swear…

Needless to say, James sauntered over, and I checked his pupils as best as I could without a light. I felt around his head and came to the conclusion that he must have hit his head on a rock when we were thrown from the blast.

James sat next to me on the rockbed by the creek. We sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to take everything in. I had so many questions swimming around in my head. Where were the others? What time were we in? Did it work? Are we dead? Are the others dead? James and I glanced at each other simultaneously.

"We need to find everyone, see if they're okay," James said forcefully.

"I agree. I just… I think I need help walking. Those chains almost ripped me in half and I'm not sure how well I can stand…" I almost whispered. I felt so stupid for complaining after what just happened but I really couldn't stand on my own, let alone walk.

James nodded and slipped his arm around my back. I put my arm across his shoulders and he hoisted me up. Slowly, we walked east.

We called out for the others but no one answered. Within minutes we arrived at the Swan site. But it wasn't the same.

"Well hot damn. That's the damn hatch after Desmond blew it up!" James exclaimed, in shock. "That means we're finally in the right time! No more fuckin' 70s, baby!" He smiled at me as his eyes lit up with joy. My heart was pounding. Hope… I finally got some damn hope back. After six years of living on this horrible island… I just may be able to see my sister again. My heart filled with the warmth of utter joy as I let out an excited chuckle.

Then James's smile faded. "Wait a sec… Jules. That bomb may have put us in the right time… but we're still here… it didn't work like the doc said…" I glanced toward the sky as James shook his head. "God… Jules, I'm sorry…" I looked at him in confusion.

"Sorry? For what?"

"For this! You wanted the bomb to go off so that my plane never crashed… and so neither of us ever had to come to this godforsaken place…" I could almost feel his pain from his struggling voice. I felt horrible. I hadn't thought this would happen. I thought everything would work like Jack said and that I'd finally be with Rachel again.

"James, it's not your fault, I have to tell you something… I—"

"Sawyer! Juliet! Over here!" Kate called from the other side of the massive ditch. She had just stepped through the trees with a very relieved looking Jack.

"Hey! Are y'all alright?" James yelled back, walking towards them. I tried to stifle my pang of jealousy as I followed.

"Yeah we're okay… We got thrown several feet back. I found Kate first, stuck up in a tree. And now you two. Now we just need to get to the van… hopefully Hurley and them are okay…" Jack said. Blood stained his face and jumpsuit but otherwise both him and Kate looked fine.

"Well let's go find 'em then, doc… oh, and BY the way, your plan didn't work!" His tone was soaked with sarcasm but Jack trudged on, up the hill.

"Yeah Sawyer, I can see that. At least we're in our own time now."

"Yeah but we ain't HOME like you said we was gonna be!" he yelled. Kate and I stayed quiet, trying to stay out of it. It was a long hike back up to where the van was, at least a quarter of a mile. When we got there, all dripping with sweat, we were bombarded with questions.

The first thing I noticed was Sayid, bleeding very badly, in Hurley's lap. Miles was sitting in the passenger seat of the van, and Jin was leaning up against it. They all looked extremely worried, exhausted, and even scared.

"Dude, what WAS that? We saw some weird flash thing, and like, next thing we know it's either sunrise or… maybe sunset? I dunno, but what happened?" Hurley exclaimed. Sayid started coughing up blood which startled us all. Jack started working on him right away, seeing if he could get the bullet out. Kate told the story about the magnetic force, the snake-like chains around my body and how something hit the bomb after I was cut free. Then the flash, waking up, ringing ears, realizing we were in the right time.

"Dude, that's insane… But good right? Cuz I mean, now there's no more time jumping, right?" We all glanced around at each other.

"We certainly hope so, Hurley," I said quietly.

Everyone was silent except for Jack, who was talking to Sayid, trying to keep him awake.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, James speaks up.

"Well this little adventure has been fun and all, but Juliet and I had a life here before you heroes showed up, and I ain't got no more time to be runnin' around the jungle with you. I'm headin' back to Dharmaville." He then turned around and stared at me pleadingly. "Blondie… ya still got my back? I'd really like it if you came with me…" I glanced around at all the faces staring back at me. Miles and Jin, who had been such great friends to us over the past three years. Hurley and Kate, who I had just started really getting to know, but who really hadn't done anything wrong to me. And then James… the man I loved with all my heart. The man I was so scared to lose. The man I would have literally died for, had it not been for Kate cutting me free.

"Yes James… I'll go with you." He smiled. And suddenly, all my fears of not being the one he was waiting for melted away. He did pick me. Even though she was right here, he wanted me. I felt really stupid for even considering that the past few years hadn't meant anything.

"We're gonna find a way off this rock… if anyone needs us, you know where to find us." And with that, he slipped his arm under me once more and we turned around, hoping to never have to look back.

After several miles of not speaking, I was growing restless. "James, why did we really leave?" I blurted out with such force that James actually flinched a little.

"Juliet, I'm no superman. They got all the help they need to save the world, or save the island, or whatever. I just wanna be with you and figure all this shit out and I wanna get you off this island. I told you I would, and I'm the reason you're still here." He sounded sad, and I knew he must have felt bad about asking me to stay so many years ago.

"James, it's ok. You can't beat yourself over stuff like that anymore. I chose to stay. You were right… I had nothing to go to. But, I did have something to fight for. And you know… that's what matters. These past few years have been some of the happiest years of my entire life and they wouldn't have happened if I had left." I took a deep breath and glanced up at him. He was grinning, but said nothing. We kept on walking, and in another hour we were finally past the fence and into Dharmaville, as James calls it.

Needless to say, I was extremely exhausted. I hurt all over my body, I was nauseous from the heat, and probably the pregnancy, and was simply warn out from the trekking. James must have sensed this because he kept repeating that we were "almost home."

Home… heh. Funny thing about home… I don't even think I could call my tiny yellow island house a home. The island has been my home for six years but it still doesn't really _feel _like home. I guess at this point all I could say about home is that classic little phrase: Home is where the heart is. James has my heart, so wherever he is, home is.

Finally, after what seemed like the longest walk of my life, we reached the run down, little-yellow-houses town. Ours was nothing like we had left it, probably because there had been new tenants after we left it in 1977. But besides some rearranging and some modern paintings hung up, the place was very much the same. Thankfully no family pictures were hanging around from whoever lived here last.

I really wasn't sure what James intended on doing back here. I really needed to clean and attempt to stitch my leg and James really needed to keep himself awake due to the concussion. I also wasn't sure how he intended on getting us off this island if we were just hanging out here in dharmaville.

After we entered the house, James sat me down on the living room couch and fetched the first aid kit from the bathroom. I loved these moments where I felt like he was almost reading my mind. It reminded me how much we had been through together and how he was my best friend, and has been the only one I've been able to lean on for three whole years.

"How's the hip, Blondie?" he asked as he sat down next to me. I noticed the ice pack in his hand.

"It hurts. It needs stitches but I don't think I can do them myself. Thankfully the cuts aren't too deep, so I might just be able to bandage them. It will take longer for them to heal, but I'm sure they'll be alright…" I sighed. I couldn't believe how much we had been through in the past few hours. I just wanted to sleep.

He put the ice pack on the back of his head, and closed his eyes.

"James! Don't fall asleep! If you really do have a concussion, then falling asleep can be dangerous…"

He rolled his eyes. "I'll be fiiine…"

"I'm serious." I shot him my best Others face, and he quickly sat up straighter and muttered a "fine."

"Well since I can't sleep, I can only think a' one more thing I can do."

"Oh my god James, you can't possibly think that's going to happen right now!"

"What? OH. No, not that. I mean, that'd be nice, but no that ain't what I meant…" He pulled something from his jeans pocket but I didn't really see it at first. I was currently flinching and groaning as I tended to my cuts with an antiseptic solution. I didn't even notice him pull something out of the tiny box and I certainly didn't think much of him taking my free left hand in his.

"Jules, I got this a few months ago and I was too afraid to give it to ya, thinkin' you'd say no. But since I almost lost you… Well I would hate myself if you had gone and I hadn't given this to ya yet." I glanced up, confused. At least, until I saw the diamond engagement ring in his hand. I gasped and my saline covered hand flew to my mouth.

"James! Oh my god… oh my god… are you…? Are you really…?" I stuttered.

He grinned and let out the low chuckle that always makes my heart skip a beat. "Yeah, baby. I am." He cleared his throat. "Juliet Carlson Burke, the past few years with you have been the best of my life. I was a shitty man, my whole life. I don't know what I done to deserve you, angel, but somehow you decided to stay here with me. When you were hangin' into that pit… well I thought I was the one about to die. Cuz lemme tell ya somethin' Blondie… if you had fallen, I'd have died along with you. I can't imagine not havin' you… who would get my back? Who would read books with me at night? Who would be my best friend?" He paused. "I know it ain't much, cuz I mean after all, I got it in the 70s on a Dharmaman paycheck… but honey, I need you. And when we get off this damn rock, I wanna make you my girl forever. Will you marry me?"

Needless to say I was bawling. I felt so overwhelmed with happiness (maybe it was kinda the hormones' fault...) that I just threw my arms around him. I didn't get the chance to say yes before the ring was on my finger and he was kissing me like we were a couple of teenagers.

When I needed air, I pulled away and wiped my tears away. He was grinning at me and I just laughed.

"I'm so glad you said yes, Jules. I've been waitin' to do this for a long time."

"I just can't believe you picked the most ridiculous moment to do it!"

"Well considering I just watched you almost die, I'd say any moment from here on out is a good one."

"True… but hey listen… It's not because of the baby, is it? Cuz I mean… I don't know what is gonna happen. I can't have the baby here and we both know why. I know you've had the ring for months but… I don't wanna feel like I've tricked you into anything…" I glanced down at my stomach and all the worry from earlier today bit me all over again. This time the silly Kate stuff was long-gone. I guess it was the hormones, but I couldn't believe I had actually thought there was still something there between them.

James then took my face between his strong, but gentle hands, and looked me right in the eyes. "Juliet. I've been wanting to marry you for over a year. It just… it took me a while to get the ring. This baby is just an added bonus. It's still early, or else I woulda noticed. That means we got some time to figure all this out. Let's just do what we can and figure the rest out when we get there, okay?" His voice was so reassuring. I just nodded. After wrapping some gauze around my body to cover the stinging cuts along my hip, I did my best to walk over to the book case to grab a book. I sat down next to James, and without any more words, we read together.

A/N: So whatcha think? Reviews make my day! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Reunited

A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter! I'm hoping to get some more with this one. I really like where this story is going so far and I hope yall do too! :) Oh, and just a side note… I love English, but I'm horrible with tenses. I like to switch from one to another to another and half the time I don't even realize it… so, sorry if it's a bit confusing!

LAX – SEPTEMBER 22, 2004

JAMES

God I hate flyin'. I've always hated flyin'. And the worst part is this particular flight is just rockin' with turbulence. I tried not to show it, but my stomach was rockin' along with it. These past 14 hours have been such a drag. I feel like I've been on here for days instead of hours. And to top things off, this potato of a man sittin' next to me has been snoring almost the entire trip. I wish I could just arrest him for public disturbance already and give myself my peace back.

Thankfully, I was able to doze off for an hour or so toward the end of the flight, after all that nauseating turbulence. The captain announced that we were landing around 5pm, and I had to control myself not to yell "Thank Jesus!" at the top of my lungs.

Being a cop and a gentleman and all, I let the ladies sitting across from me get their overhead bags out first. Besides, I wasn't even sure if my ride was here to get me just yet or not. They glanced me over and I pretended not to notice. Same old, same old. I used to get a big head over it, but it just annoys me now. I got one woman and one woman only that I want checkin' me out like that.

After a few minutes, I walked off the plane, up the terminal ramp, and out into the busy airport. When I got to the elevator, though, I ran into this woman. I thought I mighta known her from somewhere, but I couldn't put my finger on it. She had long, curly brown hair and fierce eyes. Oh, and did I mention handcuffs around her wrists? I wasn't on duty so I didn't even care to ask why. Who knows, maybe it was some kinky fugitive-in-an-airport thing she's got goin' out with her boyfriend. Who knows. But, the girl looked flustered, so I figured I'd just give her the benefit of the doubt and let her go. It was someone else's problem. I just wanted to get home.

Once I left the elevator, I found baggage claim fairly easily. I waited and waited and waited for my damn suitcase but it was nowhere to be seen. So after a few minutes of waiting, I went up to the Oceanic help desk.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but I just came off of Oceanic 815 and my luggage is nowhere to be found. Do you have some sort of…I don't know, tracking thing?" The woman looked up at me, without an ounce of care in her eyes.

"What does your bag look like, sir?" she said apathetically.

"It's a black duffel. And can ya hurry up, I'm supposed to meet my wife."

"Just one moment sir…" She started typing on her computer. I shifted uncomfortably. I just wanted my damn bag so I could go home. I felt a sudden hatred for Oceanic, and I couldn't figure out why. It couldn't have been from the misplaced luggage. That happens to people all the time. It was almost as if I felt indignant towards them. They owed me something. They wronged me in some way. But I had no clue where these feelings were coming from. She kept typin' away and I just stood there, waiting.

"Sir, they checked the plane again and found the black duffel. They're having someone bring it in now." The short redhead tried smiling reassuringly, but her eyes showed obvious discontent. This girl must have reeeeally hated her job.

"Alright good. So I'll just wait then." I muttered, very annoyed at this point. I mean, how could you _miss_ a bag? Does that ever actually happen?

Whatever. I took out my work phone and called my wife, before I let anything else annoy me. I was startin' to feel a little anxious since she hadn't called yet. It was unlike her to not show up when she was supposed to.

It rang three times before she finally answered. "Hello?"

I smiled. Her voice still made my skin tingle. "Hey baby."

I could almost hear her smile on the other end. "Hey! How was the flight?"

"It was okay. A lot of damn turbulence."

"Well at least you landed safely."

"Yeah, true. So where are ya? They're getting' my luggage now, apparently they couldn't find it before, so I'm waitin' by the Oceanic help desk."

"Turn around, James."

I was confused, but did what she said and turned around. I saw her standing by the luggage carousel and my heart skipped a beat. Even after all this time together, she still made me do that.

I smiled at her and she held her arms open to me. After a few long strides she was in my arms. I squeezed her tightly and spun her around, like they do in the movies. She always loved it when I did that. She says it makes her feel like she's the luckiest girl in the room. I couldn't help but smell her coconut shampoo as I held her. I took a deep breath and finally set her down. If I really wanted to, I could hold that beautiful bombshell forever.

"I missed you, Juliet," I said seductively into her ear. She giggled and pulled away from me.

"Well I missed you too, James. How was Palm Springs?" she smiled at me and played with the little hairs on the back of my neck. I slowly rubbed her lower back, not caring who was gawking at us.

"It was great! A few too many mai tais last night, though. I passed out in the hotel room and almost missed my flight." I lied. I knew I shouldn't have, especially to her. But she just doesn't understand. I mean, how could she? She and everyone else ain't never been through what I been through, and that means I can't tell anyone about where I really was.

She laughed. "I'm glad you didn't miss it though. David's really glad you're coming home tonight. So did you follow up on the lead you got last week? Did it help the case?"

That was my cover story, of course- that I was going to Palm Springs to track down a lead on a robbery case I'd been working on. The case, however, was already closed, since the guy confessed. "Nah, I was hoping the guy was who we were looking for, but it was a false lead. We're gonna keep lookin' though."

She frowned. "Some men are just criminals. I guess you can't catch them all. I'm… I'm really glad you aren't like that. I feel so safe with you, I just… I can't imagine you ever being the guy being chased." She half-smiled and let go of my neck. Apparently one of the Oceanic workers had brought my bag.

"Is this the right bag, sir?" the short, stocky bald man asked.

I checked it over. "Yeah, this is it. Thanks."

He smiled and shook my hand. "No problem, sir. Sorry for the mix up," he said, and then walked away. I hoisted the bag up on my shoulder and grabbed my carry-on that I had almost forgotten about.

"Need a hand?" Juliet asked me. She was tugging nervously at her violet cotton t-shirt. I cocked my head to the side and gave her my big ole southern smile.

"Now Miss Juliet, would I ever make a fine young lady like you ever carry one of my bags?"

She rolled her eyes. "Doesn't hurt to offer. You do too much, James. I don't mind helping you carry your baggage." She smiled and shook her head a little before walking a head of me. Her statement caught me off guard and probably made me have the most dumbfounded look on my face. _I don't mind helping you carry your baggage…_ Ugh. How chilling. I shuddered a little before catching up with her. Little does she know how much baggage there actually is.

Hand in hand we walked out of the airport and to the car in the parking garage. I was shocked at how empty it was. I guess many people don't park on the top floor, but still… I was a little confused as to why Juliet wouldn't just park on the lower level.

I also noticed these weird little things she kept doin' with her shirt. Like, she never fiddles with the bottom of her shirts unless she thinks it's too short. This one goes halfway down her ass, so that ain't it. She also kept adjusting her bra straps. All her bras fit rather nicely (I'd know) so I don't know if maybe she got a new one that might be a little uncomfortable…? Who the hell knows…

Finally, when we got to the car, she wouldn't even hand me the keys from her purse. She just kept lookin' at me, like she was waitin' for me to say something or whatever.

Eventually I got so annoyed I just blurted out, "Is everything alright with you, Blondie?"

She jumped a little and then started smiling, looking down in her lap.

"You're not pregnant, are ya?" I asked, slowly, as to not upset her if that really was the case. She looked at me incredulously.

"What? No, James. No, that's not it. Umm… Well, I have a surprise for you." She said, still grinning from ear to ear. I ran my hand through my hair and scoffed.

"Well ya wanna just come out with it instead of actin' all nervous and stuff?"

That's when she took her shirt off. And let me just say… I was NOT expecting that. Nor was I expecting what was under that shirt.

My hot little amazing beautiful intelligent sexy ass wife was wearing hot pink, lacy, boost-your-titties-up lingerie. I think if I wasn't wearing tight jeans, Sawyer Jr. may have just rocketed right off of me.

"Well… I mean… God DAMN Juliet…"

Her cheeks burned with blush. "I missed you, James. And I think it's important we keep things, you know… interesting. I mean, I've never done it in a parking garage, have you?"

I was completely, and UTTERLY at a loss for words. I just slowly shook my head from side to side, jaw hanging open. Then, with absolutely ZERO hesitation, I pounced.

A/N: I know it was a little slow, but I still think its really important. I wanted them to have already met in the alternate life, and im gonna spice things up later, especially with David, I think… So tell me what you think pleeease! :) reviews make my day !


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Decisions, Decisions…

A/N: So I've realized the more I write the more I change where the story is headed. But that's the beauty of writing I suppose! Work is taking over my life but I am trying to make as much time as possible to update. This is SOOO how things should have gone… -_- but either way—thanks for the support so far, and enjoy!

ISLAND – JULIET

I woke up in my Dharma bed with the sun shining and birds chirping, feeling more rested than I had in days. I stretched, mindful of my healing slice-wounds along my right hip. They were getting better though, thank god. Since James and I returned to the barracks, I have been cleaning them as much as possible, and changing the gauze every few hours. They should have been stitched up but too much time had passed before we were able to get the supplies from the medical building. I just had to make do.

I sighed. I realized James wasn't here beside me, and I all of a sudden felt the extreme loneliness that I used to feel for years, until he and I got serious. It was as if I was in a little glass box, a box that could go anywhere and see anything. But the box was sound proof. I was able to scream as loud as I possibly could, but wherever I went, no one could hear me. They could see me, though, and it gave them comfort that I was there, but no one knew I was screaming.

"Hey, you're awake."

I looked up and I saw James standing in the doorway. He looked as handsome as ever, but with a look of confusion on his face.

"I thought you said sitting up hurt?"

"Huh?" I just then realized that I had pushed myself up into a sitting position, legs swung over the side of the bed. The searing burn in my side hadn't even occurred to me until just now. I felt like a complete loser for feeling the way I did and letting it affect me like that. I had absolutely no reason to feel alone; no reason to feel such heartbreak. I shook my head a little, as if clearing my thoughts off an Etch-a-Sketch, and smiled at him.

"Hey. Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. So, uh, where'd you run off to this morning?"

He simply sighed and sat down next to me. "I finished ransacking all the other Dharma houses for food, supplies, that kinda stuff… I put everything in the kitchen that I found. It was a lot of stuff, but who knows how long it's gonna last… we gotta figure out a game plan, Jules." He put his arms around me and scooted me up onto his lap. My cuts protested, but his arms made me feel comforted. Physical pain can only hurt so much, and right now, I needed this for all the emotion burdens I woke up with. Maybe I dreamt about Rachel… who knows.

"Yeah, you're right. But James, we have shelter here, and each other… we have water and food and comforts… I honestly can't think of where else to go." I felt pretty damn useless, especially since I knew James was right. We couldn't stay here forever.

"Well I can't think of anything either, Blondie. So I guess we'll just have ta stay here til we figure somethin' out." He kissed my forhead. The gesture made me smile.

"Okay then. Oh, and James, are you feeling any better from yesterday?" Yesterday he'd gotten sick twice from an extreme headache. I gave him fluids all day, hoping they'd help.

"Oh yeah, much better. Can't keep me down fer too long, darlin'. I feel great. Besides seein' you in pain, and all..."

I winced. "I didn't cover that up too well, huh?"

He grinned. "Nah, I can read you like a book by now, sweetheart." He stood up and helped me up on my feet. "I did find some liquid, eh, lidocaine I think it's called, so maybe you could slop some of that on there?"

I giggled. "Good thinking. But that's not really what that's for… but thanks anyways, James." I looped my arms around his neck and fiddled with the ring on my finger. "I love you so much," I whispered into his neck.

"I love you too." He paused. "And you know what acts as a natural painkiller, don't you…?"

I laughed. "Oh James, are you saying what I think you're saying? _Now _is a good time to do that? What if Jack and his gang of heroes show up?"

He chuckled, "Well that just makes things more interesting, doesn't it?" And that was the last thing we said about _that._

A few hours later, after we'd showered (…and _whatnot_) I made dharma waffles for breakfast. As strange as it all was, and as weird as the last week or so has been, I finally felt at peace and at home. I felt normal, like this is what James and I were supposed to be doing. We were supposed to have shampoo bubble fights in the shower, we were supposed to argue over who had to clean up from breakfast, and most importantly, we were supposed to be with each other; safe, happy, and not trekking all over the island.

After breakfast, we settled onto the couch and read together, like we always do; my back to his front, legs tangled up. My mood had done a complete 180 since I woke up. James made me happier than I ever thought I could be, and I felt so relieved that we had decided to split from Jack. It had only been a couple days since the split, but part of me desperately wanted to know what they had gotten into.

Suddenly, we heard a knock at the door. We both jumped in surprise and I turned around and looked at him in fear. He wore a stern expression on his face and didn't move a muscle. Obviously, he had no intention of answering the door. I, on the other hand, did my best to put on my "Other" face, and after the second knock, I got up to answer the door.

John Locke was standing before me, smiling.

"Hello Juliet. May I come in?" My jaw dropped slightly, but I let him in, reluctantly.

"What the…!" James exclaimed, as he sprang off the couch. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?" His brow furrowed, and he slowly raised his arm, beckoning me to stand with him. I obliged.

Locke simply smiled, and shut the door behind him. "Well James, I guess you can say that I am."

"So you ain't really Locke, then." Locke just kept smiling, and slowly approached us.

"May I sit down?" he asked. I nodded. He glanced around, and decided on the chair across from the couch. James and I looked at each other, and hesitated before sitting back down where we were.

"If you ain't Locke, then who the hell are you?" James growled, annoyed.

"…He's the monster. Aren't you?" I said confidently. My "Others" training taught me to never show fear in front of a potential enemy. James tensed. See, I had heard rumors about what the smoke monster could do, but I never really saw it with my own eyes. But John Locke was dead. Jack and the others said so. His body was loaded onto the Ajira flight that crashed them back on the island. It was honestly (as absurd as it all sounded) the only answer that made sense.

"You're right, Juliet. Although, I don't like to think of myself as a monster. More like, a prisoner. Trying to get out. You can understand that, can't you?" My spine tingled a little with fear. I understood better than anyone.

"So what the hell are you doin' here? We're just tryin' to live our lives. We don't need any trouble. Jack and them are the ones ya gotta worry about." James said. He put his arm protectively around my shoulders and I melted a little.

"Well you see, James, it seems to me that us three have a lot in common. We've been here a long time, and all we want to do is leave this place. I came here to ask you to join me. I know a way off the island, but I'm going to need help. I'm sure you'll need some time to think things over, so I'll give you that time. Meet me by the creek just outside the pylons, due west. If you haven't arrived by sunset, I'll assume that means you decided not to help me."

He started to get up, but James held up his hand and said, "Hang on, there, smokey. Yer sayin' that you've got a way off the island? And all we gotta do to be on board is help you do a few things first? Look, I don't care why I was brought here. I used to. But it don't matter anymore. I just wanna go. And I know Juliet does too." I nodded in agreement. John Locke sat back down, listening. "So where's the catch? Cuz I know there is one, _Locke." _

Locke smiled, and rubbed the back of his head. "Well James, I see that you want to hear more… Okay then. It has come to my awareness that there is a submarine over on Hydra Island. A man named Charles Widmore is on that sub, and with him and his crew around, we will not be able to gather up everyone on the island and fly off on the crashed Ajira plane. Besides a few alterations, it is still usable. I need a wingman, you know, someone to help me figure out Widmore's plans. It sounds a bit crazy but that is what I would have you do. Simple as that. Juliet, you're a wonderful leader, so I'd like you to help me keep control over the people we are leading to freedom. I already have a group assembled."

"Wait… where did they come from?" I asked, still a little confused, and highly suspicious.

"The temple. I gave them an opportunity to be free. Those who didn't take that opportunity… well, let's just say they made their decision." I gasped.

"You killed them?" James exclaimed.

"I did what needed to be done. And I'm sorry to rush this, but I must be going now. Thank you for hearing me out, and hopefully I will see you soon." He stood up and walked to the door. James and I had our jaws slack, and stared after him.

"Did… that just really happen?" I asked.

"I do believe it did, sweetheart." James replied, annoyed.

"So… what are we going to do?"

"I don't know yet. I mean, I know he ain't lyin', so maybe we should take him up on this…"

"But James, he killed all those people. How are we so sure he wouldn't do that to us? What if he killed Jack, and Hurley and Miles… what if he killed Kate?" I put my hand on his shoulder, and I felt him stiffen.

"They had the choice. Besides, they're here for a reason. The smoke thing hasn't killed us yet. Which means, though I hate sayin' it, there's gotta be some other purpose for us bein' here. But it don't matter for me, cuz I'm leavin'. I think… I think we should go with him, Juliet." He sighed and put his face in his hands. He rubbed his temples, in obvious distress.

"Well I don't know if that is the right decision. He could be tricking us. There is no possible way that we could just distract Widmore, hop on a plane, and be on our merry way. He killed innocent people, James. What if this is all a play?"

"Baby, I'm the King of 'plays' and that man ain't lyin' about wantin' to leave. And we wanna go too. Why can't we just do what smokey says and get the hell outta here? We're finally in our right time, we're alive… I don't think we have any more options, Juliet." Suddenly James was very serious, and I knew this conversation was over. I mean, he was right. We wanted to go. If someone opens a door for you, you don't sit in the doorway and ponder, you walk on through.

"Fine," I sighed. "But this better work. I haven't seen Rachel in six years. She probably thinks I'm dead. Hell, she might even be dead." I shuddered at the thought. James noticed and rubbed my back. "But I need to get home. I at least need to try… for her. For Julian. They deserve that much, right?" James nodded. "Ugh this better work…"

And so, we stood from our seats and silently packed our bags. Food, a couple changes of clothes, water bottles, and the first aid kit were the main essentials. We also knew this might be the last time we came back to this place, so we both grabbed little things, sentimental things, to take with us. Photographs out of their frames, and little notes we used to write each other that we had saved. It may seem dumb, but we had no idea what to expect. These past few years with James had been incredible, and I wanted something to remember that time by.

After twenty minutes, we had our bags packed and were about to head out the door. We both instinctively glanced around the tiny yellow house, and with hope and longing in our hearts, left our home behind.

A/N: ehh, not a huge fan of this chapter, but I loved writing it. Reviews are loooove, and they make my day, so let me know what you think ! :D


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Should Have Known

A/N: Hey! So this chapter was so much fun to write… A little bit more drama in this one than romance, but I find it necessary to show that they're not perfect, and problems still exist in the flash sideways just like they existed on the island. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys!

EARLY NOVEMBER, 2004 – JAMES

The day had been dragging on and on and on so so sooo slowly, and it was only noon. Miles and I had finished our paperwork, and we had no present cases or ride arounds to make… we were soooo bored. Thankfully, Juliet bought me this plastic little basketball net that hangs on the door, so that occupied me and my paper balls for a little while, but Miles… well Miles sucks at it so he gave up a long time ago. Then, the most brilliantly stupid thing came to mind.

"Hey Miles, how do ya feel about prank callin' someone…?" I asked deviously.

Miles was reclined in his office chair behind me, feet propped up on his desk. "Eh, I dunno Jim. Who do you have in mind?"

"Officer Acres?" He was the weirdo guy who was more stupid than a box of rocks. He jumps every time his damn phone rings.

"Nah, too easy… not fun enough. How about Juliet?"

"Hah! Yeah right. Why don't we call Gabriella?" Gabriella was Miles's new wife… who just so happened to be a damn Victoria's Secret model. Miles always rubbed it in my face that he knows what the "secret" is, and it's damn good. Lucky fucking bastard. And she wasn't even just beautiful. Gabriella Straume had her damn Master's degree in Sociology.

"Ahhh… no. She was up with Carson all night, she's probably napping." Carson was Miles's new son. Cutest little baby I ever saw. I wasn't gonna tell Juliet this, of course, but seein' Miles and Gabriella with Carson made me want a little one of my own. David was five when Juliet and I got married back in 2000, and I only saw my little Clementine every other weekend. Sometimes it was even less than that, seein' as they live all the way in Albuquerque.

"Alright, _fine, _we'll call Juliet. But you'll have to do it. She always recognizes my voice."

"Okay. Hand me the phone." So I did.

He dialed Juliet's number, which he knew by heart. As crazy as it sounds, Miles and Juliet were very close friends.

He put her on speaker, and put on a straight face. He dropped his feet from the desk and propped his elbows up on his knees, speaking into the phone.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hello, is this Mrs. Ford?" his voice lightened, and I had to cover my mouth to stifle my laugh.

"Yes, this is she."

"Well ma'am, I hate to break this to you, but your husband ordered some gay porn a few weeks ago and has yet to send us a check for it," Miles smiled at me, but I most certainly was not laughin' anymore. He just made this personal.

"Oh no, that wasn't James who ordered that. It was me," Juliet said. My jaw dropped about two feet from my head. Miles' did the same.

"Uh… excuse me?"

"You heard me. The porn was for me. My lover and I like to get real dirty in my husband's bed when he's at work. My lover is here now, actually… you should come join us, _Miles…_" Fuck.

"Baby you're not funny!" I shouted at the phone. Juliet laughed hysterically.

"Yeah, seriously! I used my special voice for that and you ruined it!" Miles groaned.

Juliet was still laughing. "Are you telling me that you're _proud _of your gay man voice? Well jeez Miles, is there something you need to tell us?" Miles rolled his eyes. I started chuckling a little, myself.

"No, no there isn't Juliet. Ok bye now… jerk."

"Bye Miles, keep practicing that voice and maybe it'll find you a wonderful partner some day," Juliet said, using her best gay voice. Which, granted, wasn't that good.

Miles hung up the phone, but it rang about a minute later.

"Detective Straume," Miles answered.

"Miles! I need you to do me a favor…" Juliet said. Of course, I didn't know it was Juliet yet.

"Ugh, _you_… what?" _Then _I knew. I laughed.

"I need you to remind James to pick David up from school today. He's staying after for math tutoring and I'll be working."

"Yeah sure, okay." And then he hung up. "Dude, go pick up David from school later, okay?"

"Okay, will do. So… who's next?" We both grinned, and dialed Officer Acres' extension.

About an hour later, we were actually given some cases, and were called into a domestic violence scene. The fun was over, and by the time Miles and I finished our shifts, I was beyond exhausted. Chasin' criminals is no walk in the park, mind you.

I drove home, flipped on the television, and within minutes I was passed out. Like, the kind of passed out when your dreams feel so fuckin' real, it's almost like déjà vu.

I dreamt I was in a cage of some sort. It reeked of animal shit, sweat, and fish. And it felt so real… I could feel the sweat dripping down my back. I could vaguely taste fish on my tongue. And the heat…t he heat was unbearable. But see, the dream started to get really fuckin' weird when Juliet entered it. She was making me haul rocks… or something like that. She had a gun I think? Either a gun or a taser… Juliet don't even know how to use a gun. I took her to the shooting range on one of our first real dates and her aim was farther off than a two-year-old's.

Anyway, I remember trying to escape, and the feeling of pure dread… then next thing I know, Juliet's in front of me, tasering me. At least… I _think _that's how it went. I coulda been wrong, cause as soon as I could feel the electricity coursing through my body, I woke up to Juliet standing over me, hands on her hip, absolutely furious. I was half asleep but I coulda sworn I saw steam flyin' outta her ears.

"Hey baby…what's up…?" I groaned, and tried sitting up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Hmm, I don't know James, you tell me. Why on _Earth _would I be this furious with you?" Her eyes narrowed and that scary face she made when she was mad glared down at me. I knew I was in some serious shit.

"Uhhh… did I not take out the trash, again…?"

She scoffed. "Umm, no, James. Think again. What did I ask you to do today that you AGREED to?"

Thennnn it hit me. Fuck.

"Ah crap… I'm so sorry Juliet. Is he okay?" I stood up from the couch and turned around, seeing David holding his backpack, standing by the front door, lookin' mighty pissed.

"Yeah he's fine. He just had to walk to a pay phone to call me at work, asking me to come get him. He said he tried the home phone and your work phone and you didn't answer. So I had to leave in the middle of a _really _important meeting with a group of researchers to go get him. Where the hell _were _you? Asleep?" She was yellin' now. Which, I guess I deserved it.

"Actually yeah. Things started pickin' up at work and it wore me out. I forgot I had to get him and came home. People make mistakes, Juliet. I ain't perfect." I said, as calmly as I could. The last thing I wanted was to fight with her.

She glared at me, took a deep breath, and told David to go upstairs. Without saying anything, he ran upstairs and slammed his door. I made a mental note to go talk to him later.

"James. I know for a fact that you're not perfect. This is the last time you're going to let my son down. It's bad enough that you bail on Clementine half the time, but at least she expects that from you. David adores you, and has faith in you. He waited until five to call me. You were supposed to be there at four. He waited outside for an _hour _for you. That breaks my heart." She plopped down on the couch, put her head in her hands, and continued. I didn't know what to say.

"It's just so damn frustrating, James! You're so irresponsible with him! It makes me wonder if you're gonna be that way with…" she stopped.

"With who, Juliet?"

"… I don't know. With any other kids we may or may not have." I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Juliet, are you pregnant?" I asked, slowly, sitting down next to her.

"What? No." she said, shaking her head vigorously. Then she looked at me, deep concern in her eyes.

"James, I just need you to understand."

"I do. And I know I fucked up. You're right… Clem barely has a dad, and I hate sayin' that, but it's true. I wish I could be there for her, Jules, but I can't! And you know what, I do other things to make up for bein' 'irresponsible,' as you put it. Ya know what, I help bring in the dough around here. I cook for both of you. I drive David to school twice a week cause I know how much he hates riding the bus. I do a hell of a lot around here and I think forgetting to pick him up was an easy mistake." Now I was a little worked up, and looking back on things, I really regret the way I handled this. "Ya know what, Juliet… I make mistakes, and if you can't see past that and see all the good things I've done for you and your boy, then maybe I should give you some time to reflect." And I did the thing I do best. I grabbed my keys and walked out the door.

"James! What the hell do you think you're doing? Just stay, and we'll talk! James!" Juliet called. And like the goddamn coward that I was, I pulled out of the driveway and drove to my thinkin' place: the beach.

Now, of course I know that that was wrong. And horrible. And I probably broke her beautiful little heart. But ya know… something inside me clicked when she brought up Clementine. I knew I went wrong with that child but at least I was fuckin' trying. At least she knew who her daddy was. It took a lot of convincing from Juliet, but at least I made that step.

And the weirdest thing was… when she brought up Clem, all these thoughts entered my brain. Like… memories of some sort. But they couldn't be memories because I'd never said them before in my life. Things like, _She ain't mine, _and _Take care of my girl, won't ya Kate? _I mean, who the hell was "Kate" anyway? Those thoughts invoked some weird suppressed anger that I've never really felt before about Clem, and I started feelin' this self hatred of some sort… and Juliet was just the person to take it all out on.

Though I knew it was wrong to have left like that, I really needed some time alone, to think. And so that's what I did.

A/N: So what'd you think? Please reviewww ! they make me happyyy. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Tasks

A/N: Sorry it has taken so long for an update, but I got stitches on my hand which made it hard to type. I've been playing this chapter over and over again in my head and trying out different paths and this is the one I decided on (obviously… ) hehe. I hope you enjoy it!

ISLAND – JULIET

Irony.

My life has always been full of it. How ironic is it that my friends called me lucky throughout my whole entire childhood because my parents were the only ones still together, and right before I turned thirteen they announced their separation. How ironic is it that I spent my entire marriage hoping something horrible would happen to Ed, and when he got hit by a bus, I finally felt free… that is, until I got imprisoned on this island the next day. I also find it ironic that I have been so utterly resentful of this place the whole six years I've been here, and yet, now that I have to leave it… I almost feel sad. It has, whether I like it or not, become my home.

Although, I guess it's safe to say James is my home; not some house or some island. Him.

We had just left the house when these thoughts started entering my mind. I felt a little urge in my gut to turn around and run back. It was kind of annoying, like the feeling you get when you go off to college or to live on your own for the first time. You either long to leave, or long to stay home. Either way, which decision is better? Leaving could provide so many opportunities, but staying home may make you happier. In this case, I knew leaving was the right thing to do, but deep down I almost didn't want to anymore. I wanted to finally see Rachel again, but at what cost? What if something happened and I'm not going get what I expected? Life has a funny habit of doing that to me. I get high hopes, and they're let down. Like my father used to say, "Hope for the best, expect the worst." Maybe that's why I felt as though we were being led to something that was a little bit more than what John led on to.

"Jules? You okay?" James asked me. I was leading, and had stopped at the pylons. I guess I let my thoughts get to me because I didn't feel like I could really go any further.

"Hm? Yeah, I'm okay. You?"

He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to me. "Blondie. I know you. Somethin' ain't right."

"It's just… I just don't know, James. Locke showing up out of nowhere asking for our help? Why didn't he just leave us be?"

"Well, the man _posin' _as Locke gave us a choice. I reckon that should give him some brownie points."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, he gave those people at the temple a choice and some chose wrong. What makes you think he wouldn't have done that to us?"

He sighed. "I don't know. And I don't have all the answers to this one. I hate to say it but we gotta just go with the crowd and just maybe we'll get lucky and actually make it off this rock. You still wanna leave right?"

"Of course I do! But… I don't know, I guess I just have a bad feeling." I rubbed my face with my hands and tried to shake off these bad feelings. I guess pregnancy wasn't getting the best of me.

"I sure as hell hope it ain't that weird 'mother's intuition' stuff."

I chuckled and looked up at him, squinting a little from the sun. "No, I don't think that's kicked in yet."

"Speakin' a' which, how… how are ya?" James rubbed his hands up and down my bare arms. It was a comforting gesture… so much that I actually teared up a little. Damn hormones, I tell ya…

"I'm fine. And I'm sure it's fine too. I _am _the expert, you know." He chuckled and nodded. "But I'll let you know if something feels off. It's still really early and I'm not experiencing any sickness yet, so thank god for that."

He took me in his arms and whispered, "I love you, and thank you for trusting me on this one. I'mma take care a' you, baby. You _and _the mini-munchkin."

I smiled into his shoulder. "I love you too, and I know you will. You always have taken pretty good care of me."

He pulled away and ruffled my hair which made me giggle. "Alrighty, now let's get trekkin'. I guess we aren't avoidin' that after all."

I sighed. "Guess not." And we left once and for all.

About an hour later, we reached Locke's makeshift camp. We knew it was Locke's because there were about forty people shocked to see us, including Kate. I recognized some people from the temple and proceeded to get filled in on what has happened during the time James and I were gone. Cindy explained tearfully what happened at the temple, and I pretended not to have already known. I glanced to my right and saw James speaking furtively with Jin, and I knew it was best to leave them alone.

After a few minutes of getting acquainted and resting, John Locke arrived with a dirty and quite disheveled Claire. I gasped and immediately ran up to her. I felt some odd connection with her, even though we weren't really friends. She smiled at me, and we all listened to what Locke had to say. Granted, I was only half listening because I was trying to process what the hell had happened to Claire. Obviously she had been living in the jungle all this time, and judging by the state of the hut, it was probably hers. I felt absolutely horrified that Aaron was taken with Claire, even though I knew the reasons. Instinctively, my hand flew to my bump and I felt so much sympathy for Claire. But she just smiled along, and watched Locke with an almost… sort of… love.

After Locke was done, I said to Claire, "so, we're moving… is there… is there anything I can do for you?" I felt awkward but I didn't know what else to say.

"No, that's alright. I've got John to help me get Aaron back." She squeezed my shoulder and walked into her tent. I found James easily and I guess the look on my face must have been obvious as to what I was feeling, because he just held me tight, not saying a word. Everyone soon began gathering their belongings, and started to walk north. Hand in hand, James and I followed wordlessly.

After a few minutes, Kate caught up to us.

"Hey," she said, sounding a little winded.

"Hey yourself," James replied, not looking at her. This made me grin, though I hate to admit it. I promised myself that the Kate stuff was behind us now, and that is where it's going to stay.

"So… you guys are with Locke now…" Kate stated, sounding a little surprised.

"Yep. Looks like it," James said.

"He found ways to convince us…" I muttered under my breath.

"What Juliet _means _to say is, we want off this rock. He offered us a one-way ticket, and we're takin' it."

"Ah. I see." Kate said, furrowing her eyebrows.

"So where's Jack? And Hurley? And Miles?" I asked. I had almost forgotten about them.

"Uh, Jack's with Hurley somewhere… we don't really know. They made it out of the temple, and so did Miles… I don't know where he is either. No one we know personally stayed there, don't worry."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, that's good."

Then silence. Really, really awkward silence.

"Well, um, I'm going to go ahead and see if I can catch Claire. Check on her, and… yeah." Kate muttered.

"Alrighty then, Freckles, nice talkin' to ya," James said, rather harshly. He still hadn't looked at her, the entire time she was there. It wasn't until she had weaved through the crowd and was out of site that James looked up from the ground.

"What was _that _about?" I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged. "Nothin'."

"Yeah, it sure sounded like nothing to me."

"Ugh. Okay. It's just, well… when I 'looked' at her, you got all mad and assumed I was, ya know, 'loooking' at her. I just… I don't wanna ruin this. She ain't even worth it. So, if you stay happy with me not lookin' at her, well… that's what I'm gonna do." I blushed.

"James, I was hormonal and over reacting. You love me, not her. I don't care if you look at her. Okay?" He looked over at me as we walked, and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

A/N: So I know it is a little short, but I wanna get this posted before I leave for vaca. Please review and tell me what you think! : ) next chapter is going to be titled "How I Met Your Mother." Should be kinda obvious why, since it will be set in the alt timeline. :) im gonna have fun with that one !


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – How I Met Your Mother

A/N: sooo im finally back from vacation and can write again! I have gone through extreme writer's block, which is why some of the chapters have been really short, but im finally getting into the nitty gritty stuff, so hopefully these will be longer. I haven't gotten any reviews in a while and school is reeeally stressing me out, sooo maybe a few for this one? Itd be much appreciated! Enjoy!

JAMES

Dear my beautiful baby girl-

You're too little to know any of this now, and I don' know if I'll ever give this to you, but there is a part of my past I want you to know about. I used to be a real bad guy, and though I've changed for you, David, and your momma, I still live with all the mistakes I made, every damn day. Maybe when you are old enough, I will give you this, and you'll understand. I want you to know how your mother and I really met, not the bogus story she plans on tellin' you. You deserve the truth, and whether she likes it or not, I'm gonna tell ya.

I secretly hated the way I lived my life back then, back when I met her for the first time. Back then, I had to steal the goods from the pretty ladies with the rich husbands… but it was all I knew, and I didn't know no better I suppose. My mother was shot by my father in 1976, and I witnessed the whole goddamn thing, all thanks to a man named Anthony Cooper, or "Sawyer" as he was called then.

Believe it or not, it took a lot for me to become a cop. I never got caught, ya see, so I didn't have a real serious record. No one knows what I used to do but your momma, and I supposed I have her to thank for keepin' me outta trouble. That woman saved my life in more ways than one, honey.

It was a hot, HOT day in 1990. I was still fairly new to conning and I was walkin' on eggshells tryin' not to get caught. I was flat broke, a high school dropout, and had maybe one or two decent friends in the world. They taught me what they knew about the "business," and I was in my twenties lookin' for a quick buck.

I didn't really enjoy conning at first. I was edgy and nervous, though I'd never dare to show it. But soon, it became almost second nature. My buds and I would get together at the end of the day and count our winnings. I usually had more, but I guess that's not the point, is it?

Ya see, there's all kinds of cons, and I stuck to what I knew best, the small stuff. I hadn't even thought about tryin' out my first Long con, that is, until my buddy Mike cocked a gun to my head and said if I didn't produce $50,000 for him by two weeks time, then I'd be climbin' the stairway to hell, if ya know what I mean… well, it may not seem like a lot now, but that was a helluva lotta money back then. I was scared shitless—though I'd never admit it.

Well I'm getting' ahead of myself… like I said, hot, hot day… that's when Mike threatened the bullet to the brain… anyway, that night, I was so at a loss of what to do to come up with that kinda money, I kinda just hung out in the closest bar to my shitty little apartment. I was only in Miami for a couple of months, cause I got so close to bein' caught by the Feds back in Alabama. I needed a hideout, and this is where Mike, Joe and I decided to go.

So I'm in this shitty bar, and I'm enjoying a mighty fine beer, when this absolute drop-dead gorgeous woman saunters into the bar. It's around nine or so, so I'm not too buzzed yet to kick up the confidence a few notches and go talk to her. So I drink my beer, and have about two more, all the meanwhile just watchin' her. I noticed the way she drank her little fruity drink, the way she kept smoothing her dress as if it were too short (like hell it was…) and the way she ran her fingers through her curly blonde hair. I was mesmerized. I finally felt like I could talk to her, so I breathed deep, shot the rest of my beer down my throat, and walked over to her.

"Hey there… uh, you meetin' someone…?" I asked her, drawing out my southern accent, hoping it would grab her attention. Women just love accents, who the hell knows why. Oh and hey, don't ever fall for someone for their accent. It's extremely stupid.

Anyway, moving on.

"Hi… um, no, not particularly. Why?" she replied. The accent did nothing (_bummer_).

Then I drew a damn blank. Just stared at the woman. She musta thought I was insane.

"Are you going to say something?" she asked inquisitively, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, yeah. Oh. Uh, well, if you aren't with somebody, then uh, mind if I sit?" _DAMN. Where the hell did my cool go?_

She laughed (melodically, I should add). "Well, I'm not meeting someone, so sure. But I'm engaged, so… I'm not really available, if that's what you mean." She smiled at me, and I could feel my face burn. All that time I was staring at her and I didn't even notice the big ole rock on her finger.

Why is it that once I looked at the ring, my mind screamed "CHA-CHING"?

Suddenly, I got an idea. I needed to pull a Long-con to get the kind of money Mike wanted for teaching me everything he knew. He lent me his own suitcase for the act. It was sitting in my trunk. I was at a bar with a beautiful, and obviously rich woman… we were both drinking…

Suddenly, I shoved my fears down and kicked the charm into overdrive.

"Well, since you're so kind to keep me company in this dreadful place, I will just have to buy you a drink to show my appreciation." And from there? Things were, well—magical.

She was the most amazing person I'd ever met. She made me laugh harder than I think I ever have before. AND, she was so damn smart. Turns out, she was a med student, trying to specialize in fertility, and she met her big-shot, wannabe surgeon boyfriend through med school, blah blah blah, and they had their first little spat that day, hence why she was here moping. Things weren't as perfect as she thought, or so she said. So of course, I tried and swoop in for the kill, using the whole "he don't care" as an excuse to get her into bed. By this point, she is heavily intoxicated, and slurring her words with her eyelids half closed. I felt guilty as hell for taking advantage of a fine woman like herself, but I mean, what else was I supposed to do?

Then, the worst possible thing happened.

"James, I swear to God you are not getting any damn money from me or from Jack. I know what you're doing here, I'm not," she hiccupped, "so damn stupid, ya know!"

I WAS CAUGHT.

"Well Miss Juliet, I don't know what you're talking about."

"YES, Sawyer, you damn well do. I used to date a slimy, slimy guy like you. I watched him. I saw what he did when he thought my back was turned. You're just as slimy as him, trying to hit on a married woman!" she practically shouted. The whole damn bar heard her.

"Juliet… I…" I was at a loss. She wasn't even mad. She sounded hurt.

"I know it looks like I've got money. You saw the dress, the ring, but ya know, I have zillions in loans, buster!" She was almost in tears. I felt like dog shit.

"I…"

"No. Just stop." She turned to leave but I grabbed her wrist. She whipped around and glared at me with her piercing blue eyes. I felt frozen in place, but I held onto her firmly.

"Look, I don't know what to say. I don't know how you knew all that, but just… let me explain?" I half asked.

She considered it for a moment while everyone in the bar just stared at us. Then, quite messily, she sat down in her seat, gripping the bar for balance.

"Look, I got mixed up with the wrong crowd, okay? I owe this guy some money, and if I don't pay him, I'm dead. Literally. I haven't done this kinda con before and … well, you're so damn gorgeous, I just… I don't know, I thought you'd be some easy bimbo and this would be so simple… but then you turned out to be beautiful and amazing and funny, and all, and I just… I don't know why your guy isn't spending every waking moment with you—." And then it happened. She kissed the hell out of me. I'm gonna save you the details because I'm sure you don't wanna know, but it was one of the best kisses of my entire life. She pulled away and just stared at me.

"I'm sorry…" we said at the same time.

"No, I'm really sorry. I should go… it was nice meeting you Juliet…"

"Wait!" she halted me, right as I got to the door. "Here's my number, just… take it. And you know, you don't have to resort to crime, okay? Never ever do that again, what you just tried to do to me." After she scribbled her name and number on a napkin, she gave me the most stern look I'd ever seen on anyone, especially on a drunken woman. I was in shock, for one, she was being eternally forgiving, and two, she actually gave some random jackass her phone number.

"Thanks… I mean, really, thank you," I said to her. I walked back over to her, threw my last ten dollar bill down on the counter and said to the bar man, "Sir, make sure this money gets this woman home safely." He nodded at me, and took out the phone book from under the counter, presumably to call her a cab. She waved sadly at me, leaning to the side a little bit, and with one last look at her, I said, "Oh, and by the way… the name's James. James Ford. Sawyer's a stage name, I guess you'd call it…" She nodded, and I walked right on out.

So ya see, that's how we first met, but as you know, that guy she was engaged to was David's dad, so of course, they got married eventually, and if I did the math right, David was born shortly after that. I think she told me she was pregnant at the wedding, but it doesn't really matter now… what matters is what happened next…

See, I knew your momma was drunk off her ass when she gave me her number, but I couldn't help but keep the napkin. I don't know why, but she made something in me feel happy. I felt hope, like I'd never felt before. Needless to say, I'm not proud of what I did after I met her, but I still had to get Mike that money, didn't I? Well, I successfully completed my first long con after courting the woman for two weeks (I was a bit late on the money, but I gave him a 30% down payment so I wouldn't get shot right away). He got the money, and I attained my first real high from what I'd done. I forgot about what Juliet said, and I kept on conning, making sure to never leave a trail.

I skipped town a lot, which helped. From New York, to Detroit, to Virginia a few times, to Jersey, then to Texas, Alabama twice, L.A. a few times, before returning to Miami, right around the time your brother turned three.

Believe it or not, I ran into her at the damn super market. Real coincidence, huh?

There I was, just searchin' through the frozen foods, getting dinner for the week (I only planned on staying a month), when she just ran right into me. She was chasin' David, of course.

"Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me, I'm just chasing my son. Did you see which way he went?" she asked, out of breath. I pointed behind the island with all the ice cream toppings on it, and sure enough, his flashing lights shoes were quite visible from underneath. "Oh, thank you!" she sighed, and whisked David up in her arms. I just stared at her. I can't tell ya how I remembered her after all that time, but I did. She was just as beautiful as the first day I'd met her.

"Hey… wait a minute, do I know you…?" she asked, holding tightly to a squirming, giggling David.

I chuckled. "Yeah I guess you could say that. You told me to never con anyone ever again… we talked, ya know, in that bar? You had just fought with that Jake character…"

"OH yeah! Oh, wow. Well, I never expected to see _you _ever again. Well I mean, it's not that I didn't _want _to… what I mean is," she rambled, scrunching her forehead more and more with each word.

"No, no it's okay. I understand. I was stupid back then. So. Fresh start. Howdy, I'm James," I said, extending my hand.

She laughed. "Wow, a real 'howdy.' We don't hear that much. I'm Juliet. Juliet Shephard." She took my hand. I noticed it lasted a bit longer than it should have, but I didn't say anything.

And I'm gonna skip that boring conversation because I don't remember much, except that the blue shirt she was wearing really brought out her eyes. All I could do was stare at 'em. she musta thought I was a creep. But anyway, I still had her number and proceeded to call her the next day, claiming to want to know more about the area (bullshit, of course). She was shocked I still had her number, but agreed to meet me.

She met me that evening after she finished her shift and left David home with Jack (not Jake). We had the most incredible evening. It wasn't a date, of course, cause she was married and all, but coffee has never tasted better to me than that night.

She couldn't see me much after then, simply because Jack got upset, but we talked all the time on the phone. We were good friends. She and I had a really long talk one day about conning, and that was when I finally made the decision to quit. I got a job in a restaurant for a few years (after moving to Miami), and when that flaked out, Juliet convinced me to be a cop.

To her, it was a good idea because I had the "mindset of a criminal," which meant I'd be good at "catching them." She had no idea that I'd be betraying my own "kind" so to speak, but I thought long and hard about it, and made the decision to move to Albequerque where I knew a guy who could set me up with a job, once I'd completed the program.

She was sad to see me go, but after a couple years living in Miami, I was done. My instincts to move were screaming at me to get the hell outta there, but oddly enough, moving day was kinda rough on me. Juliet and David helped pack as much as they could, and I didn't see her for another year after that.

I had just started dating this woman, Cassidy, after she had just gotten out of a bad, bad marriage. We did mini-cons together, but nothing too serious. After all, I was a brand-spankin' new officer and I didn't wanna ruin my rep.

Well then 6 months or so during the relationship, Cassidy told me she was pregnant. This is how your sister Clementine came around. We tried real hard to make it work, but when Clem was about a year, we split, and I headed off to L.A. Your momma and I, we talked every so often on the phone, but I didn't see her again til early 2000's. She and Jack had just moved to L.A., and two months later decided to end the marriage. She ended up hanging with me at my place, and we got drunk off our asses. I was a gentleman, of course, and slept on the couch, and let her have my room. After all, she was my one true friend in the world and was about to get divorced. I wasn't a _total _jackass.

Well, the separation was hard on her. She said it was her decision, because no matter what they tried, he still wouldn't spend enough time at home and with David. The custody battles were rough too, but Jack eventually just let Juliet call the shots. I guess he knew he wasn't that great or whatever as a father. Meanwhile, I was going through my own custody battles with Cass, eventually settling for every other weekend. Juliet decided the same could be done for David, who still deeply loved his father. And it's not like he lives a state away. Really, it's more like 20 minutes without traffic.

So, once all that mess was dealt with, Juliet and I were out at dinner one night, celebrating our wins and losses, when suddenly I just blurted out, "I love you, Blondie." I don't know where the hell it came from, but there it was. She had been my only friend and the only good head on my shoulders for almost ten years. She smiled at me, and nodded, and said "I think I love you too, James."

And well, the rest you already know, sugarplum. You came along and my world shifted. I never thought I could know so much love. I love my baby Clem, but you came from pure and unstoppable love, not just some random romance fueled by adrenaline and passion. I love Clem, and I love David, and now I get to love you too. I just can't wait til the day you get here. Your momma and I love you so much. But I want you to learn somethin' from all this.

It's not about where ya came from, it's about where ya end up. I came from a shitty life and turned it all around for someone I cared about. No, it wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do. I know you ain't gonna be perfect, but I want you to live your life tryin' to be the best person you can be. I want you to know that life is gonna throw some curveballs, but you can still make it through with your head held high. I don't want you to have the life I did, and that's why I wrote you this. To show you how you really came to be. Maybe someday, I'll give this to you for real and you'll read it as your momma and I are rockin' on some old porch swing, happy as can be. I hope that when you have kids, you're honest with them, and you tell them your flaws and you explain your past.

I don't know what else to tell ya, babydoll, but I love you. Always have, always will, no matter what.

Love, Daddy.

A/N: I really liked writing this chapter for some reason, probably because it's a different approach to the entire story so far, but I hope yall liked it too! It took a lot of planning and figuring out, so I hope I didn't mess anything up timeline wise… if I did, sorry! Bear with me!


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8 – Mission Impossible

A/N: hey sorry guys, this will probably be another short chapter. I just want to keep the ball rolling and I've already started on some of the others ones, this is just a filler. I started writing it out with all the Widmore-Sawyer and Locke-Sawyer commentary, but since I did that with the first chapter, I didn't want to do it again. Nothing has changed, Locke still asks James to go to Hydra, and James and Widmore have the same conversation, and James still sees the cave, but to have it make sense, they happen at different times, so I hope all this doesn't confuse you! And thanks to anyone who is keeping up with it :) I really enjoy writing it.

ISLAND – JULIET

After what seemed like hours of walking, we finally made camp. I was sore and tired and I was feeling queasy, but that was the least of my worries. Every time I looked over at James, he seemed lost in thought. His brow was furrowed and there was a hint of anger to his stride. I also noticed the way his jaw muscle tightened every few minutes, which was a sign that he was in deep thought about something that worried him. After living with a guy for so long, you tend to pick up on these things.

I thought he didn't notice me checking on him, but apparently he did, because as soon as we stopped walking, he whispered "tell ya later" in my ear. Men are so frustrating.

He then walked away and pulled Locke along with him. I tried to hear what they were saying, but whatever it was, James face said it all. He was pissed.

I sighed and put my bag down. My lower back was sore from carrying it so I sat down on a nearby rock and tried rubbing it. I saw some of the others doing the same. I had absolutely no clue how long we had been walking, but it was almost dark now. Claire and a few of the others started building a fire. I had no clue what to do to help, so I stayed on my rock and waited for James.

After a few minutes, he was at my side, pulling me up as gently as he could. "I need to talk to you about somethin'…" he said in a hushed whisper. "Follow me."

So I did.

"James, do you mind telling me what the hell is going on?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"Look, it's complicated, okay? But last night… well last night I went on a little adventure with Locke," he said, sounding a little ashamed.

"You did WHAT?" I hissed. I know I shouldn't have reacted that way, but we were in this together, and I couldn't believe he hadn't told me sooner. I mean, we were walking together all day!

"I know, I know it sounds bad, but listen… ya see, I don't know why it matters, because it doesn't, but for some reason… well, I can't shake the feeling… I mean, I wanna know why I'm here in the first place, Juliet. I wanna know why we're BOTH here. This island gave me you, but it also took my life away, ya know what I mean? I just… he said he had answers, and I wanted to know what those answers were." I just stared at him, slack-jawed.

"So, tell me James. Did this conniving liar tell you the answers you needed?"

"That's what I'm tryin' to figure out. See, he took me to this cave on the side of this cliff. There were… there were names. Written all over the place. Yours was there, but it was crossed off. Everyone's were, well, all except mine, the Kwons, Jack, and Hugo."

"Why? What is it for?"

"I don't know yet. He's baiting me. He has information I want, so he wants me to do things for him to '_earn'_ that information."

"Like what?"

"Well," he sighed, "that's the next thing I was gonna talk to you about. He wants me to do a recon mission."

"What do you mean 'recon?'" I asked, stepping toward him.

"Well, I have a feeling I know the answers to all my questions, based on seeing that damn cave, but since I ain't quite sure, he's using that to get me to go to Hydra Island and talk to Widmore. I gotta find out as much as I can and then come back. He also said he'd get us off of here, so I _have _to do this, at least for that." He looked tired. I knew he was telling the truth.

I was quiet for a moment, trying to let everything soak in. "So basically, you go do this favor for him, and we're one step closer to getting the hell out of here?" I asked, my voice sounded more scared than I had intended.

He held me close to his chest. "Yes, ma'am."

"Then do what you have to do, James. I don't know what I'm going to do without you here, but please, just… be safe. And be careful. And come back in one piece."

He chuckled. "Will do, Blondie." James unfolded his arms from around me and took my hand instead. He started leading me back to camp, but I only had one final question.

"When do you leave?"

It was sunrise the next morning when James took the outrigger over to Hydra. I was worried sick, even before he had left. I got sick about three times during the night, but that might have just been the pregnancy. I was still in the first trimester, which is when the sickness is usually at its worst.

Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse, Claire decided she wanted to try stabbing Kate for taking Aaron. This caused everyone to be alarmed, seeing as though they were practically living with an insane killer. Thankfully, Locke and I were able to pull Claire off of Kate. John took her aside while I tried my best to calm Kate down, but nothing worked. Apparently, she had called out for Sayid and Sayid had done nothing. I had heard about what had happened at the temple, and as an Other I knew that Sayid would never be the same. But poor Kate couldn't understand that.

After that whole fiasco, I had nothing to do but sit around and wait. And wait. And wait.

I couldn't help but think he had gotten himself captured, and the thought made me vomit. Twice.

I wasn't hungry for lunch, which was boar that some of the people from the temple had caught.

I wasn't hungry for supper which was fruit and rabbit, that Locke had caught. So I sat there, all day, worried out of my mind. All I could think of was never seeing him again.

The people at the camp weren't stupid, they knew something was going on. Every time they asked me where James was, I just told them that I didn't know, and that he was doing Locke a favor. Locke made another speech to the camp and wanted everyone to get as much rest as possible, to "recharge."

Finally, after what seemed like years, I heard the steady crunching of leaves as James approached. He looked like hell.

I bolted towards him, and he swooped me up in his arms. He was dirty and a little bloody, but otherwise alright. I don't think I'd ever been that relieved.

"Oh, honey I'm so glad you're okay. How did it go?" I asked, gently putting my hands on his face, trying to read his expression.

"It could have gone better, but I'll tell you about it later, okay? I'm going to go fill in that ... that thing posing as Locke," he grumbled. I nodded and let him go. I watched them discuss everything in hushed whispers. The other campers whispered amongst themselves, as well, wondering what the hell was going on. One of them even ventured to ask me. I just shook my head and shrugged. I had no idea what to say. I didn't know what was going on any more than they did.

Finally, the two stopped. I held my breath, waiting. And then Locke made another announcement.

"Everyone! May I have your attention! I am sure you all are wondering where I sent Mr. Ford today. The answer is this… I sent him on a little recon mission. There are invaders, on the other island. They came by submarine. They are a potential threat, in trying to leave this place. I am hoping that with some strategy and some patience, and a little sacrifice, we may all be able to leave the island for good. There is a plane there, one from Ajira Airways. I don't know if it is fully functioning, but the survivors did not crash, they landed safely. Some of them made it off, and made it over to this island, but the others… I'm afraid they were killed." More whispers from the campers ensued. Jin's eyes lit up with hope. I knew he was thinking about Sun.

"I am going to come up with a plan, hopefully one that is in everyone's best interests. If you have any suggestions, please come talk to me. Once again, thank you for sticking this through and being so patient. I know how much you want to leave, trust me, I do. And together, we will find a way out of here, I promise you that." He smiled, and I was a little surprised at myself for feeling so comforted.

James then came over and filled me in on all the real details; about the deal with Widmore, and about Zoe, and about the strange makeshift pylons, and mostly about the sense of purpose that Widmore presented. It was almost as if he was here for one thing and one thing only, we just didn't know what that one thing was.

"So that's it then? Just, get past Widmore's people and steal the plane, without letting Locke on it? That's what we have to do to get outta here? Oh, and find the rest of our people, especially Frank, because he is the only one that can _fly_ a plane?" My voice sounded partly hysterical, considering how completely and utterly absurd the "plan" sounded.

James smiled at me. "No, Juliet. We're not gonna steal the Ajira plane. You and I? We're gonna steal the sub."

It took hours for that idea to sink in. I thought James had gone absolutely bonkers if he thought that was going to work. Steal the submarine? We TRIED that. Maybe there was something he wasn't telling me about the conversation with Widmore, but we had already tried stealing the sub and it almost got every one of us killed. If something fails once, why on Earth would you do it again, especially when there is so much at stake? I pondered our options while lying on our makeshift bed that night. The stars twinkled up above. They had always been such a comfort to me on the island… I always watched them when I could, because it made me feel like I was home. Rachel could be lying under the same sparkling stars, wondering if I was watching them too.

With that thought, I fell asleep.

Things almost felt peaceful, that is, until sunrise. The darts sounded like giant flies. Buzzing so loud, all around you, and you didn't actually see them until they were sticking out of someone's body.

I screamed. One by one, the campers woke up and saw the darts, sticking out of their friends and loved ones. Some tried to run. I stayed with James, on our makeshift bed, because he had already gotten shot. I was so terrified that my body felt numb and tingly all over. My heart hammered in my ears. I didn't know what to do.

So, I tried picking James up and dragging him behind a tree. I didn't get very far before I got a dart to the leg. The last thing I saw before everything went black, was Jin being dragged off by a couple strangers. I tried calling out his name, but nothing came. My vision went blurry, and I was out before my head hit the ground.

Fuck.

A/N: like I said, kinda short. But important! The next few chapters of this timeline should be a lotttt longer. I just like breaking things up at good stopping points! So anyway, please reviewww! They mean the world to me. 3


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – Flashes in the Dark

A/N: So, I changed a few things that I had planned for this chapter, but I think it turned out pretty good. If theres any confusion though, just ask! I do wanna point out a typo that I came across while going back through the chapters. This was not fixed when I changed some ideas around, so I will just clear it up here. I said that David was 5 when they got married in 2000. This isn't right. In this story, David was born in 1993. This would make him 8 at the wedding in 2001. I should have tried planning further in advanced so I could have kept my math straight, but, such is life. ; ) Also, this takes place after James leaves, after their fight. David is almost 12. Enjoy !

2004 – James

Thankfully, the beach really wasn't a long drive from our house. Of course, with the way I was weavin' through cars on the interstate, it wouldn't have taken me long regardless of the distance.

It was strange- the comfort the beach gave me. It was serene. I could stare out at the ocean for hours, transfixed on the way the waves rose and fell, differently each time. But yet, at the same time, it was all the same. They climbed higher and higher into the air, before inevitably crashing down. It amazed me for some reason.

Juliet and I rarely fought, well, about serious matters anyway. I don't know why, but something in her was just angry and accusative today. I didn't deserve that shit.

So here I am. Walking along the Santa Monica beach. Completely at a loss because even though I can swear I did nothing wrong, she still makes me feel like a failure.

I roughly sat down on the sand as a helicopter passed overhead. And then the weirdest fucking thing happened.

It's as if the humming of the motor and the whirring of the blades sliced open some part of my brain, making me hallucinate. All of a sudden I saw Juliet, sitting on the sand drinking from a bottle of rum.

It was fuzzy and bright, but I knew it was her. But the weird part was—we had never drank on the beach together. We've come down a few times with David but that's it. And then I saw trees; bright light, like an over-radiant sun, and a thick jungle of trees. Then the images started blurring together, stringing along faster and faster until I was back to staring out at the ocean again_. Little yellow houses. Juliet in a jumpsuit, grease smeared on her face, smiling up at me. Sunflowers in a vase in a little kitchen window. A dock. A swing-set._

Then just like that, they were gone.

I could almost feel my brain pulsating, panicking at this newfound discovery. My mouth hung open a little and I just glanced around me, wondering if this was all just a dream.

The only thing I could think of was to call Juliet. At this point, I didn't give a flying fuck that we'd just had the biggest fight of our relationship. Something _messed up_ had just happened and I had no idea what to think.

After a few rings, I heard her voicemail click on. "Damn it!" I cursed under my breath, and called the only other number I could think of.

"Hello?" Miles answered.

"Miles! Hey! I, uh, I know ya might be busy but uh… I need your help man." I probably sounded a bit more panicked than I should have, but the images burned in the back of my head and I honestly couldn't tell if I was goin' insane or not.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"I don't know. I guess so, yeah… can I drop by or somethin' so we can talk?"

"Of course, man. No problem, come right over. You can eat dinner with me, Gab and Carson. That cool?"

"Yeah, man. Thanks a lot. I'm leaving the beach now, be there in 45 minutes or so." I ran my hand through my hair, already trying to figure out what the hell I was gonna say.

"Sounds good man, we'll talk then. Drive safely!" he warned, before hanging up.

"Well, here goes nothin'…" I said, taking one last glance toward the ocean before heading out to my car.

The drive was completely silent. No radio, no phone.

It was eerie.

All I could think of were those images. They felt so _real._ I tried calling Juliet three more times, once I got to Miles's neighborhood, but they went unanswered.

Miles was waiting outside for me as I pulled up, and waited patiently by the front door for me to walk up.

"So is everything okay, man? I don't think I've ever heard you so… distressed…" Miles asked, leading me over to the basketball hoop in his driveway. We did that often, shoot hoops as we talked.

"Honestly? I don't know what to think, Enos." Miles usually hated the nicknames, but he seemed not to notice this time.

I threw the ball and missed.

"What happened, dude?"

And I proceeded to explain; about the fight, and about David and how I thought I was doing okay with him, and how she just blew up, even though I knew I was in the wrong. Miles just nodded, shooting the ball (and _not _missing, the little bastard).

Then I got to the point in the story where I either told him about the weird, bright flashes, or I didn't. If I told him, he could think I was a nutjob and I wouldn't be helped, but judged instead. If I didn't tell him, I'd have to wrestle with the information myself, making up all kinds a' weird explanations until I could talk to Juliet.

I decided to just go with it. What the hell? I knew I wasn't crazy. _Something _had happened, I just didn't know what that something was.

He reacted the way I had expected: he stopped moving, scrunched his little Asian eyebrows, and gave me the most skeptical look a fella could give. Typical.

"So… am I fucking crazy, or what? I see you judging me, you ain't that hard to read."

He held the basketball in his hands, and twisted it a little. "Okay, don't be mad. I believe you, I do, but… what I'm thinking, is maybe… well, maybe you fell asleep or something. Maybe you were dreaming." Typical.

"I'm tellin' you, Miles. I wasn't dreaming. Whatever I saw… that was _real. _REAL."

"I don't know, man. I guess I just find it hard to believe because none of that has ever happened before. Maybe because of the fight you guys had, you dreamt about a vacation you wanted, or… or another life you wanted with her, I don't know."

BINGO.

"Did you just say another life?" I asked, making sure I heard correctly.

"Yeah. Maybe. Why?"

BINGO.

"I think you're right."

"About what?"

Now I was getting frustrated. "Another life! What if I am havin' some weird images or memories or whatever from another life, with Juliet! Maybe… maybe this is a sign, or somethin'…"

"Okay, now you've lost me. I didn't really mean a _'past life'_ dude, I just meant maybe you wanted a life change, in THIS LIFE. Or something. I don't know, I'm not an expert!" He tossed the ball aside.

"Miles, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks man." I grinned at him, giving him a quick pat on the shoulder, grabbed my keys from beside the basketball hoop, and got in my car.

"Hey wait! What about dinner? Where are you going?" he shouted after me, throwing his hands in the air.

I rolled down the window and stuck my head out as I backed out of the driveway. "I've gotta see her, man. I never should have left! Tell Gab I'm sorry!" And with that, I raced up the street.

2004 – JULIET

That grimy worm really just left. What a complete _asshole, _I thought to myself, trying to keep my anger in check. If you saw me then, standing on the front porch glaring up the street, you'd probably see the steam blowing out of my ears like in the cartoons. I probably had flaming red eyes, too. But I had every right to be this pissed off. He just LEFT. I mean, what! We fought, but does that mean you just get to leave without a fucking word?

"ARGGHHH," I screamed, stomping back into the house, slamming the door behind me.

"Mom, is everything okay?" David asked me hesitantly. I hadn't even seen him come down the stairs. I sighed to myself.

"Everything is fine honey. Go pack a bag, okay? Just with your DS and stuff to do, like your homework. I'm gonna call over to Rose and Bernard's and see if they'll watch you."

"Watch me? Mom, I can stay by myself."

"David, please don't argue. Would you rather me call your dad? You know he doesn't let you stay up and watch television like they do. Just do it, okay?" He groaned, but did as I said.

I didn't really know where I was going to go just yet, but I had to get out of the house.

I took a few deep breaths, to calm my nerves, and then I picked up the phone. Rose and Bernard were pretty much the best neighbors I'd ever had. They loved watching David. They didn't have kids of their own but loved having someone to spoil. I didn't mind it, either.

After a few rings, Rose answered.

"Hey Rose, it's Juliet. Listen, can I ask a favor of you?"

"Sure honey, what's going on? I saw that fine husband of yours racin' out of here like a bat outta hell. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, well… I'm sure it will be fine, at least. We had a fight."

"Oh dear, you two never fight…"

"I know… that's the problem. He really overreacted."

"Well, honey, men are hard to understand sometimes, but then again, so are we women. I know that man loves you, and I know he'll be back. He needed some time to clear his mind, I'm sure."

"Thanks, Rose." I sighed. She always made me feel better about things. Being the control freak that I am, I always seem to blow things up and make them seem like they could have been avoided somehow. But people fight. That's life. Rose always had a good way of reminding me of that.

"So bring David on over here, we'll feed him some dinner, and you go do what you need to do, okay?"

I could have cried at her overflowing generosity, but I held it all back and just smiled to myself. "Okay that sounds perfect. Thank you so much. I know it will blow over eventually, but it's just… he's my best friend and I've never seen him storm off like that."

I could almost imagine her nodding to herself, with that all-knowing smile on her face. "I know, Juliet. I've seen Bernard do a lot worse, trust me on that one. He's a destructive one, he is." She chuckled. "But the important thing is that you never lose faith in them. Never lose faith that you will see him again soon."

I froze. Something in her words shook me to my core. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it was like a strong sense of déjà vu, even though I'd never had this conversation with her before.

Never lose faith. Hmm…

"Thanks so much, Rose. I'll go upstairs now and make sure David's ready and then I'll bring him over."

"Sounds great, and good luck with everything Juliet!"

"Thank you, see you in a few." And with that I hung up.

I shook my head of the weird thoughts starting to form from our conversation, and trotted upstairs to get David. He had just finished packing his things when I got there, and together, we walked two houses down to Rose and Bernard's. Before she had even opened the door I could smell the garlic bread and tomato sauce for the lasagna, and I knew David would have a great time. Lasagna's his favorite.

I gave him a quick hug good-bye, and went back to the house to change clothes. I was going to do something I hadn't done in a reeeeally long time.

I was going to go out to a bar, alone, and spend good quality time with my thoughts.

The drive didn't take long, and the bar was just the way I like it—empty. Well, besides a few regulars that stop in each night after work.

I ordered my favorite, rum and coke with a twist, and gulped it down, wistfully. I almost choked when I saw a handsome Asian man staring intently at me from a few seats down.

It scared me a little, to be honest. It was like he was reading into my soul or something, with the way his eyes almost twinkled. It's like he knew something I didn't know.

"Uh, can I help you?" I asked as nicely as I could. I hate being rude.

He just smiled at me. He was handsome with longish hair brushed back, a nice smile, broad shoulders… he didn't look dangerous at all, basically. Kinda hot, actually…

But anyway, he didn't answer me, so I asked again, "Is there something I can do for you?"

And he laughed. An honest-to-God laugh. And I was completely thrown off because I did not expect that, at all.

"I'm sorry, I'm being rude. It's just, a pretty woman like you, sitting alone in a bar… it seems a little cliché to me."

Uh, what?

"Do I know you?" I asked. Something about him just… it made me feel the same way Rose did when she told me to not lose faith about James. It was like a little tug at my gut. A warm tug, trying to get out or something.

"No, I don't believe you do. But you remind me of someone, that's why I was staring at you. I apologize, I'm sure that freaked you out a little bit." He came to sit next to me. "Forgive me?"

I don't know why I said yes, but I did. I guess it was the warm pulling sensation. I all of a sudden felt comfortable. Almost as comfortable as I feel with James. This was weird, of course, because I had never met this man before in my life. And once again, I don't know why I did it, but over the next hour, I talked with this man and told him all about the fight with James and how he'd left and how completely alone I felt sometimes.

The man just smiled and nodded along, letting me tell my story.

"So, am I crazy for coming out to a bar? Trying to 'drink my troubles away?'"

He laughed. "No, certainly not. If you had not come here, we would not have met, and if we hadn't met, then I wouldn't have been able to give you someone to talk to when you needed it most." I was beyond flabbergasted. "Trust me, I have a wife too, and though she frustrates me sometimes, I do not know what I would do without her. She is my soul, my life."

"Well… that is definitely one way to put it," I said, nodding my head. I was on my third drink by now, and could feel the words I wanted to say swimming around in my head. "You know, you're a good friend, sir. I _am _glad I decided to come out. I'm glad there are still nice people in this world." I stood up and put my hand on this man's shoulder, and then my world flipped on its' axis.

My legs buckled from under me, and the stranger caught me, putting me back in the chair.

I saw light. I saw a bright, beautiful light. And trees. a whole jungle of trees. I could almost feel something small in my hand. A taser? Beyond the trees I could make out animal cages. Huge, dirty animal cages. And then suddenly I saw monitors. Rows of them. Where WAS this place?

Just as the light started to fade out, I could see James. I was lying with him in a hammock, with him smiling down at me, and behind him were odd-looking vans rolling past. From the 70s maybe?

Then darkness.

I woke up to the stranger peering down at me, head cocked to the side. He looked concerned. Had I passed out?

I opened my eyes further and saw that my head was lying on the bar. The same song was still playing on the jukebox. "Downtown," by Petula Clark, my favorite…

"Are you alright?" the stranger asked me.

"I… I think so. Was I out long?"

He shook his head. "Ten seconds, at most."

"Hmm… well, I feel okay, I think…"

"That's good. I'll have the bartender call you a cab…" This made me think of James, and how we met.

"That would be nice, thank you. I really need to get home and talk to my husband." I suddenly felt uneasy. I kept seeing the flashes before my eyes and I knew they meant something. But what?

"Did you see something unusual?" the stranger asked. I gasped. _Now _I was suspicious.

"How do you know that?" I demanded.

He paused, before answering, "you were mumbling about trees and hippies…"

"Oh… I was?"

"Yes, you were. But I should get going, my wife will be waiting for me. The bartender has called you a cab, it should be here shortly. And thanks for the talk, Juliet. I hope we meet again, soon." He smiled at me and walked out of the bar.

It took me a minute, but then it dawned on me… I had never told him my name.

A/N: At first, I wanted to keep the two perspectives completely separate: James in the alt timeline, and Juliet on the island. But since we are getting closer to the end of the story, I thought it would be neat to start breaking them into the two perspectives in each timeline. Things are really getting down to the wire and it's important to know how they both see things. There are still a few chapters left, don't worry, and we'll see where things go from here! Thanks for reading! And reviews make me happy : D


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 – Plan B

A/N: First off, thank you for sticking with this story for so long. After this, I only have 4-6 more chapters planned out and then I think I'm going to wrap things up. I really really appreciate it. On a second note, I'm soooo sorry it has taken me so long to update. School started and I've barely had time to do schoolwork, eat and sleep, let alone write and edit this. Not sure when I will get another update up, but don't worry, I haven't forgotten! And once again, thanks so much for all the support and feedback! : )

ISLAND – JULIET

Before I could even open my eyes, I smelled the strong, smoky musk of burning wood.

My leg tingled. My left arm was asleep from how I had been lying on it. I had leaves plastered to my face.

And then I opened my eyes for the first time since the raid.

I saw a few members of the group just looking around, shocked expressions on their faces. Others were still unconscious. I didn't see John anywhere. And then I thought about James.

Panicked, I sat up and frantically searched around the area where I had fallen. I spotted him halfway dragged behind a tree, a few feet behind me. I scurried over to him, ignoring the throbbing tingly sensation in my leg where the dart had been. I must have pulled it out on my way down. Not like it did much difference, of course. I knew exactly what kind of dart they used, and why.

"_Juliettt_…" I heard James mutter. My hands shook as I lifted his head and settled it into my lap. He groaned. "What the hell happened?" he asked, trying to sit up.

As if on cue, John Locke stepped into camp and called attention. The unconscious were slowly waking up and were looking around probably thinking the same thing James and I were.

"Everyone! I know you are all scared and confused about what happened here hours ago, I am a little bewildered myself. The invaders that I mentioned before, they shot you all with some sort of tranquilizer and took one of us: Jin." James and I shot each other worried glances. "But no matter—we will get him back, I promise you that. In the meantime, I am coming up with a new plan for us, to help keep everyone safe, and get us ALL off this island." He smiled at us before leading Claire aside to talk.

I couldn't contain myself any longer. "James, we can't stay here. It's not good for us, and it's certainly not good for the baby. We're going to get ourselves killed!" I exploded in a hushed whisper. James went slack-jawed and just stared at me.

"Juliet, baby, listen to me… I want you and that baby to be safe, but I think stayin' here's our best bet. Locke'll take care of everything."

"But James, that's just it! He isn't. Jin was taken! I don't know why, but he was. And 'Locke' didn't do anything about it. We really don't even know anything about him. There is obviously something going on with Widmore that we don't know about."

"Jules, there is a LOT we don't know about, but that's why we gotta stay. We need to figure all this shit out—why we're here, what the hell's goin' on with Widmore, everything! Then we will all leave."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you really believe that? You think _patience _is the key? That, if we just wait a little while, he will tell us everything we want to know and then just send us on our merry way back home?"

"No, but I think it's best to be on his good side, and have that protection."

"_Protection? _Are you serious? He let us get raided! It's _his _fault Jin's gone!"

James went rigid. He sat up the rest of the way, stood up, and reached for my hand and pulled me up. Without a word, he packed our things and tossed me my bag. I searched his face, looking for some sign of what he might be thinking. After his bag was packed and slung over his shoulder, he walked over to Locke. They exchanged a few words, and though I couldn't hear the conversation, Locke obviously looked disappointed. After he shook his Locke's hand, I saw James pull Kate aside. They spoke only for a minute or two before James squeezed her shoulder and came back to me, taking my hand in his.

"Do you trust me, Blondie?" I nodded. "Alright then." He started walking ahead of me. My feel felt glued to the spot. It was _my _suggestion that we leave, he was _against _it, and now all of a sudden everyone's fine with us walking off?

"James!" I called.

He turned around and groaned. "Aren't you comin'?"

"Uh, I will once you tell me what the hell just happened!" He groaned again and stomped (literally) over to me, and took my hand. He led me several yards away from camp and came to an abrupt stop.

"Juliet, we need to be quick. I know you wanna know what's goin' on, so here's the quick version: you just gave me a damn good idea. You wanna leave for the baby, and you're right, I get that, but we also need to leave because there's no way we're all gettin' outta here together."

"Wait, what?" I interrupted. "You said you believed Locke would take care of us…"

He shook his head in frustration. "Yeah, I thought that. But look, I told ya, I made a deal with Widmore. And now, I've made a deal with Locke."

"I'm so confused…"

"Okay, look. Locke has answers I want—about the cave, about why we're here, everything. Widmore's deal was that I'd get him Locke in exchange for safe passage. Now, I don't trust either one of them sons a' bitches but I gotta make a choice. Widmore's people? They took Jin. I know it. And all Jin wants is Sun. So, to get out of that camp, I made _another _deal with Locke, sayin' I was gonna go find Jin and bring him back. He was gonna send Sayid, but not no more. And before you even ask what the hell we're _actually _gonna do, it's this: we're gonna find the rest of our people. Doc, Sun, Miles, Hugo, everyone. We're gonna bust the hell out of this joint but we need them with us. Maybe LaPedis will be there too and then we can figure the rest of this shit out from there. So right now, we're still on Locke's good side cuz he thinks we're doin' him a favor. Ya got me?"

I literally went slack-jawed. I couldn't tell whether his plan was ridiculous or brilliant. Him and his goddamn _deals, _I swear.

"So we should get hikin' then."

"Wait," I said. "So say we find them. And then we go to Hydra Island and we find Jin. And then, say, we are able to take control of their camp… what then? Are we taking the plane? Or are we taking the sub? And what about those people back at Locke's camp? What about the kids who haven't seen their mother in three years?"

He paused midstride. I could see his shoulders slouch. I knew this was tough on him.

"Look, Blondie—I don't know yet, okay?" he said, turning towards me with a solemn but frustrated look at the ground. "We'll take this one step at a time and then go from there. I don't know if takin' the plane is safe, but the submarine might be better guarded since our first attempt. And those people? Look, they picked the wrong side. I don't know what's gonna happen with them. Maybe, somehow it'll all work out, maybe not. Who the hell knows… but my main responsibility right now is gettin' you and that baby a' mine outta this shithole, ya got me? And I sure as hell ain't gonna let you down."

With that, I knew the conversation was over. I may not understand James sometimes, but I know he's got a heart of gold, and he was going to do his damndest to get us home.

After walking all over the island, all day, in the fucking heat, with no fucking plan, I got a smidge frustrated. By smidge, I mean, wanting to just give up, throw my bag down, and go back to Locke's camp and just go with the flow. That's not me, of course, it's the weird hormones coursing through my body that make me angry at every little thing. James noticed this, of course, after about four hours of trudging through with no direction. We had stopped at the stream to get water, and without saying a word I plopped down on the ground, and tossed my bag aside. Granted, I _know _I probably looked like a two-year-old, but I didn't care. Not a bit. James and I had barely talked the entire day. I wanted to, a little, but I also wanted to give him some space, ya know, let him sort through his thoughts. I knew this was really hard on him. He desperately wanted to know what the hell the cave meant, and he was so completely ready to go home, plus he just found out he was going to be a dad…

Dad.

Oh lord_. Maybe that explains it,_ I thought. James had been so touchy… sometimes he was in a good mood, sometimes he was sour. _I _had a reason to be that way, and so far I thought he didn't. But then again…

James has a daughter somewhere; a daughter he doesn't know, a daughter he's never met. James's father shot and killed his mother, and then himself. James thinks he'll make a horrible father.

_Maybe all this, this need to get us off NOW… maybe that's him trying to be a good dad from the get-go. Maybe he feels like he's making up for something he may not have done in the past, with Clementine. Is he willing to give up all the things he wants to know about this place just to get us out of here? And if he succeeds, will he regret it?_

These thought swirled around in my head as I pouted by the creek. He was staring at me the entire time, but I didn't call him out on it. He was probably just thinking too.

ISLAND – JAMES

Juliet's _pregnant. Pregnant. _I had to keep tellin' myself this, over and over, to make it all seem more real. Even though I found out days ago, I still have to repeat it over and over to myself. It helps keep me focused. I gotta know what I'm fightin' for.

She's been real moody all day. I know them damn hormones go nuts when you're pregnant, but she's gettin' 'em awfully bad. Hell, she actually almost threw a temper tantrum when we got to the creek. I almost laughed at the sight of her. She plopped down, threw her little bag to the side, and grunted. _Grunted. _And not a cute little one. Like, a big ole "I'm pissed off" one. But I let her stew. She's just frustrated. Can't say I blame her. I don't know what it's like havin' this tiny little life-changin' thing inside me. Maybe it's harder than it looks. I mean, she ain't showin'. But who knows. I sure as hell don't.

After we both were able to rest for a few minutes, it dawned on me. I literally could have smacked my head against a rock for not figuring it out sooner. I laughed—out loud. Juliet looked up at me with this crazed, "what the hell?" look on her face. This made me laugh even harder.

"Uh, something funny, James?" she asked, dripping with sarcasm.

"Actually, yeah, Blondie. Something so stupid, it's actually funny."

"Uh, care to share?" She stood up, dusted off, and grabbed her bag before walking over to me. I opened my arms to hug her, but she avoided them. "Not til you tell me."

"Oh, but you're gonna be so pissed. I'd rather you be restrained."

"What!" she shrieked. "What is so funny?"

I paused for effect. She glared. "Okay, so ya know how we've had no direction for hours? Ya know what I suggest _every _time we ever need a direction? Ya know that's the one place we haven't looked?"

She didn't understand at first. Her eyebrows were all knit together in that cute little pissy way, until finally, I think I actually saw the lightbulb.

And then she hit me. A good blow to the shoulder. Actually knocked me back a bit. But I couldn't blame her too much… (hormones).

"THE BEACH? THIS WHOLE TIME, WE COULD HAVE BEEN WALKING TOWARDS THE BEACH? INSTEAD, WE WENT A DAYS WALK IN THE OTHER DIRECTION? REALLY? AND YOU COULD HAVE COME UP WITH THIS SOONER LIKE YOU _ALWAYS _DO?"

Ding.

"I'm sorry! I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner! Look, it's not that bad. Let's just make camp here tonight, and we'll set out in the mornin', okay?"

She was practically hissing.

But, she agreed. And we made camp, and she definitely calmed down after the foolin' around. (Of course, no sex, cuz we're in the middle of the jungle and she thinks it's "icky." What the fuck). Not like we haven't done it in the jungle before… damn hormones. At this point I was almost positive she was gonna be the damn death of me.

The next morning started off just fine. She was back to her cheerful self, which meant I was more or less cheerful- besides the gigantic weight on my shoulders, of course. But the walk to the beach was much shorter than we thought it'd be. We arrived in the late afternoon, as the sun started to descend. At first, we saw no one. And then, like déjà vu, Juliet and I walked into our old camp and saw all the old tents, just a helluva lot a' less people.

Miles saw us first. He was playing cards with Frank when he looked up and did a double take. I'll never admit this to Juliet, but I felt my eyes well up when I saw the smile on his face. This dude had been like a brother to me, and to finally be reunited with my family again? It felt damn good.

Miles signaled that Hispanic-lookin' chick and then Sun before running over to us. He caught Jules in a bear hug, and she didn't try to hide her tears of joy. After he put her down, we did one of those, ya know, awkward handshake hug things before he literally said "fuck it" and squeezed me like he did Jules. Soon Frank and Sun had joined us, too, but that woman stayed behind.

It was a nice little reunion til I had to break Sun's heart.

"Where's Jin?" she asked excitedly. I looked over at Juliet, and proceeded to slowly explain what had happened back at our camp. She was devastated. And even once I had told her my plan, her hopes were only kinda rekindled. She excused herself and made her way to her and Jin's old makeshift tent.

Miles was also extremely displeased with the plan, the little bastard. "Uh, that sounds like suicide, Jim," he said about ten times. LaPedis was a lot more supportive than Miles, but still kinda weary on the fact that we had no plan B. Technically, we barely even had a plan A. I didn't know which road to take—sub or plane.

"Look, it's been a long day, come over here and play some cards with us and just relax a little bit til we figure things out, alright?" Frank suggested.

"Cards?" Juliet asked, curiously.

"Yeah, see, we're waiting on Richard."

"Richard? Why the hell are we waitin' on him? And where's Hugo?" I asked.

"See, Richard apparently knows what to do next, or at least, that's what Jacob said, and he stalked off a while back, and Hugo went to get him. So we're just waiting for them to get back."

"Wait a minute—Jacob said Richard would know what to do?" Juliet gasped.

"Hold on a sec—_Jacob?" _I was more confused than ever about this stupid place. Juliet sighed and took my hand.

"He's right, let's go sit down and play some cards. We all need to talk."

A/N: So I intended to add wayyyy more to this chapter but like I said before—life is seriously catching up with me. But I will basically just take everything I WAS going to write in this chapter and add it to chapter 12. But pleaseeee review! They make me smile! And I promise I will finish this, hopefully soon.

: )


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 – Memories

A/N: Hey guys! I'm taking a little break from homework to get this chapter written. This storyline is dwindling down, and the next chapter will be very, very long, so I'm not sure when I'll get that ready for you guys. But either way, thanks for being so patient!

2004 – JAMES

As I was driving home from Miles's house, a zillion thoughts were racing through my head. I could feel the pain in my chest as the other me held Juliet over the gaping magnetic hole. I felt that raging fear, and yet, I never experienced that in my life. How could I remember these things so vividly? For the first time ever I also felt some sort of hatred towards the beach. I'd never felt that in my entire life, and yet, as I was driving home, I was glad to be getting as far away from it as possible.

Driving all that way—it kinda put me in a daze. I had so much on my mind that I don't even really remember the drive. At some point you get so used to turning left here, and right there, that you don't even really realize that you're home until you stop the car.

The lights were turned out, which I half expected. I didn't know if maybe Juliet was asleep, so I was as quiet as possible when I entered the house. After a few minutes of looking around, I realized no one was there.

Normally, our neighbors Rose and Bernard watch David when Juliet's out, so I gave them a call to see if they knew where she went. It was ten o'clock.

"Hello?" Rose answered.

"Hey Rose, it's James. Juliet there?"

"No, honey, she um… she went out for a bit. David's here with us."

_Huh… out where?_

"Oh okay, I'll be over in a sec to get him. Do you know where she mighta gone to?" I asked hopefully, though I highly doubted she'd tell me even if she did know. That woman was highly temperamental, 'specially with me.

"No, sorry dear, I don't. I'll have David pack up his things though."

_Yeah, thought so._

"Alright then, thanks Rose." And we hung up.

_Damn damn damn. Where the hell could she be? She ain't at her sisters, she still lives in Miami. She wouldn't be at work, because it's probably locked up by now. Where the hell could she be?_

_Ah well, _I thought. _I'll get David and just wait for her to get home. _

I walked outside, feeling the soft breeze and it reminded me of summer, in my weird memories. An island, I guess it was? Jules and I would (would we?) sit outside on the porch drinkin' vodka and lemonade and we'd make jokes about all the weird people wearing them ugly jumpsuits (why were they all wearing jumpsuits?)

I hated feeling so damn confused.

David opened up the door to Rose and Bernard's before I'd even made it onto the porch. He waved good-bye to the couple who were now like family to him, and then trotted down the stairs to meet me.

"Hey champ, how was stayin' with Rose and Bernard?" I asked tentatively. I didn't know if he was still mad at me or not for forgetting about him.

"It was fun." He walked ahead slightly, and I knew he was still mad. He's just like his father, I guess.

"David, stop."

He whipped around. "What?"

I took a deep breath. "Look, I'm not perfect, alright? Yeah, I forgot. And yeah, I forget a lot of things, but that don't change how I feel about ya."

"Really? And how's that? Look, I've got a dad. I don't need another one."

Ouch.

I followed him into the house, before grabbing him by the shoulder. "David, would ya just listen to me for a damn second?"

He rolled his eyes as he turned to face me. "What, James." It scared me how much he resembled Juliet. His blue eyes went cold as ice. I knew there was something else going on.

"David, I think of ya like a son I never had. Yeah, you got a dad, and he ain't me, but ya know what? I've basically known you your whole life, and ya know I love ya. I do. And I felt really damn guilty for forgettin' to pick you up. I do. All I wanna do is be a good stepdad and I don't want you hatin' me over somethin' that I don't have any control over. I made a mistake, okay? I did. But I've been to every one of your concerts, and have you even _told _your dad about them?" David grimaced. "I do my best to be there for ya, and sometimes I screw up. But I don't want you to be mad at me forever over it."

David just stood there. Like a statue. Not saying a word. _Juliet Jr…_

"Okay. I see your point. I know you didn't mean to. And you're right. I didn't tell my dad. I'm afraid of what he'll think. But look, I've got to go practice. I've got the audition in a couple of days and I need to practice as much as I can spare."

"How are you gonna go to that if you're with your dad this weekend?"

"I don't know, I guess I'll figure it out, James."

"Okay then. Go on ahead. Are we good?"

He nodded.

"Okay then. Good." I sighed and turned to walk away towards the kitchen. I was gonna get the phone and call Juliet.

David started going up the stairs before he turned toward me and asked, "hey, by the way, where's mom at?"

Then, the phone rang in my hands.

"Hello? Yes, this is he. Uh huh. Wait, what? Yes he's here too. Okay, yeah, we're on our way."

My hands were shaking as I hung up the phone. I could feel the blood draining from my face, and all my extremities went numb. I could barely breathe, let alone move or speak.

"James, what happened! Who was that? What's wrong?" David shouted. I barely heard him. My heart was pounding in my ears, and all I could picture was our wedding day. _She wore the most beautiful dress, and was so happy…_

I used all my strength to gulp down some air and grab my keys. I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the car.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" David shouted, bringing me back to reality.

I got in the car, started the ignition, and when David sat down next to me, I peeled out of the driveway, tires screeching and all.

"David," I croaked. "Something's happened. I don't know what yet, but your mom's in the hospital. They'll tell us more when we get there."

Silence. The thirty-minute drive took us fifteen minutes. I was sweating so hard my hands occasionally slid down the wheel. David was wide-eyed in the front seat, not having said a word since we left the neighborhood. I knew it must be hard on him. Hell, I was slowly dying inside thinking of all the possible outcomes. But I knew she was gonna be fine. She had to be fine. Yeah, she HAD to be fine.

As soon as we ran into the ER, a young burly doctor came up to us and asked us who we were. I could barely speak, so David told him.

"Ah, you're Juliet's husband and son?" I nodded. "Follow me. We paged Dr. Shephard and he gave us the number to call to reach you. He is in with her now. She is stable, for now, but we need to keep her monitored at all times."

He led us to her room. I couldn't even look at her. She was black and blue, and her hair was coated with blood. She had tubes sticking out of her all over the place and yet… she looked like she was sleeping. I walked into the room, slowly. David ran up to his dad and Jack held him tight, sayin' things were gonna be just fine and that she was gonna get fixed up. Yeah. Jack and his empty fucking promises.

After the doc left, I asked Jack what happened. I could barely croak it out without feelin' tears well up in my eyes. I was shaking all over. I wanted to touch her, but see, Juliet's a light sleeper. She hates being woken up.

"It was an accident. She was out drinking I guess and was able to catch a cab. I don't know if she just had too much or maybe something else happened, but she passed out in the cab and the driver freaked out. He tried waking her up when he got to a stoplight and I guess someone wasn't paying attention because they ran right into them, on her side of the car. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt and got massive injuries because of it. James… the doctors said she was pregnant."

David immediately looked up at me, alarmed. I was stunned.

"Uh… wait. _Was?"_

"She still is. They were able to save the baby. But Juliet got pretty drunk. I doubt she would have done that had she known. Right…?"

Holy shit. "I don't know if she knew. She sure as shit didn't tell me about it."

"Well, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. And hey, she's going to be fine. We just need to make sure she can wake up. They can't tell anymore about her condition until she does."

David sat beside Juliet and took her hand. He started crying.

"Thanks for bein' with her, Jack. I'll take it from here." Jack nodded.

"I've gotta get back to work. David, if anything changes, or if you wanna talk, come find me okay?" David sniffed and said he would. Jack shook my hand and then left. I was at a loss.

She's _pregnant. Did she know? Was that what she was trying to tell me? She wouldn't have had any drinks had she known… would she?_

I sat down in the chair next to her bed. I tried hard to ignore the blood and the bruises and the wires and the beeping and the tube. Instead, I saw her, beautiful as ever, sleeping next to me after the first time we'd made love. She was embarrassed because she caught me watching her. She said she looked 20 years older in the mornings. I told her she looked 20 years younger. She was the absolute best thing that had ever happened to me, and I knew that that morning. I focused on that memory as best as I could before kissing her forehead, and saying one of my first prayers.

A/N: yeah, kinda short, I know, but im trying to get to the end now! I have a couple more left, and then itll be finished! Please review, they make my day. And next chapter probably wont be up for a while, because its gonna be a longggg one. : ) im excited for the ending though! Thanks for sticking with it!


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